Archive for August 9, 2010

.. ok.

So August 28th, Chief and I are going to Washington DC for the Restore America Rally at the Lincoln Memorial.

NOTE: Honestly, if you have anything negative to say about it then keep it to yourself. I’m way too busy to get into a debate right now.

This will be the first “vacation” we will be going on.. if you can call a one night stay two hours down the highway a vacation.. but realistically, driving to the supermarket with the kids is a damn vacation!

We did contemplate taking the boys with us for like.. oh.. less then a NANO second.. but whenever they tag along someplace it’s nothing but arguing and fighting and miserable. Beside, they have no clue what’s going on and I really didn’t feel like hearing Spaz whine and complain about being hungry or thirsty every 10 seconds.

So the Crack Whore was told WAY BACK IN FEBRUARY when we booked the hotel room that she was going to have to keep the boys for that night.

Both of them.

Or.. Bubba could stay with her brother (he has a son Bubba’s age that spends every other weekend there).

They just couldn’t stay HERE and I was personally going to make sure that everything was locked down tight so they couldn’t go in and out… or SHE couldn’t go in and out.

She likes to do that.

Or DID.. before I got hip to it and told her the next time she was in my house I was going to have her arrested for trespassing.


So since the summer, she’s been going away every weekend. She found another john “boyfriend” that has a place somewhere or other. I think she took Spaz once.. the weekend before school ended.

But anyway.. so today I text her and tell her not to forget that she has to take the boys Saturday into Sunday night.

And the response came back that she couldn’t because she was going away and then the little comment about me waiting for the last minute to tell her.

So I calmly text back that she needed to take the opposite of whatever color pill she already took because it ISN’T last minute.. it’s TWO WEEKS away..

Nope.. she still won’t do it. We’re going to have to take them and wow!! What kind of people are we that WE would go on vacation and NOT take the kids.

I told her that OBVIOUSLY we were the SAME kind of person SHE was because SHE goes away every weekend and DOESN”T TAKE THE KIDS.. oh.. my bad, I said.. we AREN’T like you because WE NEVER GO AWAY.

Then she says :: and this is where her manipulation talent kicks in :: that is she WAS going to take them, then we were going to have to provide food and drinks for them to which point I told her that she was ALREADY two months behind on her child support payments .. going on three.. and I’m sure her case worker at welfare will be very interested in knowing that she’s still getting 700+ a month in food stamps for a SINGLE PERSON WITH A JOB.

Oh.. and I know that the job is under the table and since, yknow, my brother is a big wig at the IRS who investigates small business I’m just SO sure he’ll be interested in knowing that her boss is paying people off the books.

She’s going to take them.

With people like her, black mail is the only option.


So.. yknow.. I say that phrase all the time. Usually in response to “.. what do you want for dinner?” or “.. what movie do you want to go see?” or “.. do you think the world is going to end in fire or flood?”

The generic shit.

But yesterday.. well.. yesterday it just on this whole OTHER dynamic.

Bubba FINALLY left the house on Saturday. For a kid that you can’t keep IN the house during the school year, this summer you might have thought they both were locked IN because neither one saw actually sunshine since June.. and I swear Bubba has tan from the computer monitor.

So Saturday night was the obligatory phone call that he was sleeping over his “friend’s” house. Same drill.. “.. WHICH friend, Bubba.”

For the LIFE OF ME, I can’t understand why they don’t use their friend’s names. Like, “.. Can I sleep over Slick’s house?” or “.. Can Screwy Lou come over?”



Minor side track there.

Anyway.. so he slept out on Saturday and then Sunday afternoon he calls to talk to his father.. who’s in the bathroom. I get asked when he’ll be finished and respond with “.. how the HELL should I know? Really!” but I tell him that he’ll call him back once he’s done doing whatever it is he’s doing in there.

So Chief gets done and when he walks into the room, I hand him my cell phone and told him to call Bubba.

“… well, what’s he want?”

“.. how the HELL should I know? Really!”

He calls and I hear him ask Bubba what’s in Fort BlahBlahBlah and how he’s getting there and how will he know that he’s there and how will he know that he’s not being lied to.



So when he gets off the phone, he tells me that Bubba wanted to know if he could go to Fort Blahblahblah because his “friend” has a house there and the friend’s mother is going to drive them.


Ohhhhhhhhhh Kaaaaaaayyyyyyy

So I said to him that the “friend” lives one county over… Fort Blahblahblah is no where NEAR we’re we live and that the “friend” lives with both parents so it’s not like he was like.. going to stay with his father or mother or something like that.. AND!!!!! I’ve been to Fort Blahblahblah many, many times and it’s really not a mecca for anything fun.. quite the contrary.. and oh.. is there going to be an adult there because yknow.. the “friend” is a year or so older and BTW.. why is the mother driving them when the “friend” has a car????

Chief just stares at me the way he stares at the television when I’m forcing him to watch Project Runway and Heidi Klum’s boobs are not in display.

I doooooooooooon’t knowwwww… he whines. It’s too much to think about!!

Honestly. That’s what he said.

Hmph. Oh. Ok. So I just shrug my shoulders and say, “.. well, I’m just saying but I don’t care one way or the other.”

And you might have thought the Road Runner dropped an anvil on this thick skull (not that it would have damaged it) because he stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me with this LOOK and said, “… I hate when you say that. That you don’t care one way or the other.”

So I get the whole EXCUSE ME??? shrug going on and said, “.. Dude, YOU just said that knowing where your kid is, who’s he’s with and what’s he doing 50 miles away is too much for you to think about but ME saying that I don’t care one way or the other is WORSE?? How the HELL is that possible??”

He didn’t answer me.. because he couldn’t answer me.. because he knew I was right.. and he really should have learned by now that I’m ALWAYS right…

It’s a heavy mantel to bare but someone’s got to do it!! LOL!!

So he does what he does best and changes the subject. He had to go to the auto parts store because I needed back breaks on my car and honestly, if there was only one reason to keep him around it’s because he can change the brakes on me car!! LOL!!

Nah.. I’m joking.

There are other reasons.

But anyway.. so we’re in the car and he gets this wet kitten look and asks me if I really don’t care one way or the other and I looked at him and said, “.. riddle me this.. why should I?

And again he couldn’t answer me because there really was nothing say.

He KNOWS… I KNOW he KNOWS.. he just isn’t capable of doing anything about it and like I like to remind him .. they’re HIS kids.. not mine.

And yknow… of COURSE I care. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t pay attention to the things the kids say when they don’t think I’m paying attention or find out who they’re with or where they’re going.. it’s ridiculous to think that I don’t.. but saying that wounded him and you know.. now he knows how it feels.

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Ok.. so I skiped the photo off the internet and made a banner!! Y’all should know how anal I am by now about keeping things in order!! LOL!!

Sharon is another southern step-mom who is dealing with her own blended craziness.. on her’s doesn’t come with a shot of rum or a paper umbrella either!!

She’s witty.. sarcastic.. snarky… what’s not to love, right??

Her’s .. and Amy’s for that matter.. is the type of blog that I have to start reading from the latest to the current.. they’re just that good!

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You’re going to love Amy.. well, I do anyway.

She shoots from the hip .. which I REALLY appreciate.. Just play nice in her sandbox because you know what they say about messin’ with Texas, right??

Amy is going through what a lot of us step moms are going through and reading some of her posts makes me want to send her down a frozen strawberry margarita.

‘Cause it’s hot here and that just sounds really, really good!!

Virgin for me, please!!

Ok.. first I have to admit that I am SO ADDICTED to my iPhone that it almost never leaves my hand and…. I don’t even have the PHONE SERVICE for it!!! I wasn’t into paying the bill when I knew I was getting laid off so I cancelled the phone and got one of those unlimited text / unlimited call phones for 39 bucks a month.

But anyway… so I’m always downloading new apps and stuff like.. ALL the time.. and OMG!! This app is so. freakin’. awesome!!

It’s called My Fitness Pal and while it’s basically a calorie counter / diet tracker.. it is SO MUCH MORE!!!

I think everyone probably knows that I’m a size 16 by now and even though I’m kinda okay with that, the fact that my uber-chef husband will die believing that EVERYTHING tastes better with butter, bacon and deep fried means that I have to really be careful to not gain anymore weight.

I used to be a size 24 and got down to a size 14 by watching what I ate and walking.. walking.. walking. It took about 2 years but if you understand that it’s healthier to lose the weight at the same pace you put the weight on,  it’ll keep you clear of “quick fix” diet pills or starvation or unhealthy stuff like that.

So really, going up one size isn’t so bad considering the meals he used to make us ( since I’m in control of dinner now, we eat a lot healthier ) but I noticed that a pair a shorts I haven’t worn since last year were tighter then I remembered them, I said to myself, “.. Self! There has to be an App for that!!”

So I found MFP and when you first sign into it, it asks you your current weight.. height..  how active you currently are.. how much time you want to devote to exercising and how much weight you’d like to lose in a weeks time.. and then it does it’s magic and tells you what your projected calorie count is per day.

So you start logging what you eat .. they have a HUGE database of almost everything you can think of.. and then you enter the type of exercise you’ve done and for how long (.. that is, if you even get around to doing it) and the app keeps a running tally of how many calories you have left to consume.

It also starts accumulating the foods you routinely eat for easy finding!

The funniest thing is that KNOWING I’m going to log what I eat made me more selective and careful about what goes in my mouth and how much..

And I’m now drinking more damn water then a water buffalo instead of the usual coffee cup glued to my left hand!!

So maybe I should warn you know of potential caffeine withdrawal!!

The other think I like about this app is that it’s synced with MFP’s website so you can track your stuff and log your stuff online without having to use our iPhone… or your iPod Touch ( it’s compatible with both! )

And it’s free!!!!

It doesn’t cost anything to download or utilize the web site.

So if this is something that you can use :: if you don’t need it then I hate you!! LOL!! :: then give it a try and let me know how  you like it!