Three Years And Counting…

Posted: August 6, 2010 in Chief, Just Me
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

.. so Thursday was me and Chief’s three year anniversary.

OMG.. it feels like 90!! No.. seriously..  when I tell you we’ve packed A LOT of drama in the 365 x 3 days we’ve been together then that’s a HUGE understatement.

I started to list the Good, Bad and Ugly but it was too exhausting.

I really need a reality show… no lie. I really should get paid for living my life!

At any rate…

Chief had wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate but given our financial situation.. I really couldn’t justify spending the money when the rent for both the store and house were due. Sometimes you just have to say “.. what the fuck”.. and he IS a “.. what the fuck” kind of guy but that’s why I have to be the “adult” in most situations and be responsible.

Beside, in past years he’s always been good about getting me a diamond this or diamond that all on his own so I could forgo the usual this year and not feel slighted.

He did wake me up Thursday morning with a card and four rolls of SweetTarts.. It was definitely an Awwww!!! moment.

There was a little snafu in the middle of the day because, really, what would my life be without a snafu?? I can never get to point A to point B without a lot of twist and turns, yknow?

So the night before we had to pay the rent for the house.

The rent is 1400.00.. and because of the way my unemployment checks fall, I have to give them two checks. One for 1000.00 and the second for 400.00 dated for the day my next unemployment check falls.

My landlord.. dick that he is.. really doesn’t mind that. He knows the situation and he knows that the house is so OUT of code that he would have to sink a lot of money that he doesn’t want to into the house in order to re-rent it. So he basically leaves us alone.

Unfortunately, he isn’t local… so we have to drive something ridiculous like 20 miles to the rental office. It’s a pain in the ass but it’s something that has to be done and usually me and Chief take the ride at the end of the night and get some time together without the kids and dogs and cats.

So we drive out there on Wednesday night.. stopping at our store first so that he can get me TWO envelopes for the TWO checks that I’m turning over to the landlord.

I put the checks in their respective envelopes in the car.. write CAN DEPOSIT IMMEDIATELY on one and DEPOSIT ON AUG 11th on the other. We drive out to the rental office.. double park.. and Chief jumps out and puts the envelopes in the door.


All’s good.. right???

Yea.. come on.. you read this blog.

Thursday afternoon, I’m in the store and the phone rings. It’s the landlord’s secretary. She’s asking about the second check.. which was actually 425.00 because I had to pay the rent a day late and there’s a 25.00 late fee for everyday that we’re late. It’s bullshit but yknow.. I’m not going to make any more waves then they make for me so I buck up the extra 25.

So she’s saying something about this check and I couldn’t quite get what her point was … I explained to her the why the amount was the way it was and what the HELL was the problem? She explains that she only got the one check and I’m like.. no, there were two envelopes. The other envelope has the check you can deposit right away.

She says she doesn’t have another envelope and puts me on hold to check the mailbox. In the meantime, I go into the back of the store where Chief is playing a round of Call of Duty and his dad is peeing in the bathroom with the door open (GOD!!!!!)… so I ask him if he put two envelopes in the door.

Then I ask him again because.. yknow.. he’s playing COD and never hears me the first time.

He said no. As a matter for fact, he only put one envelope in the door?


I’m like.. completely taken off guard. I stomp through the store on my way to the car to find the other check when the secretary gets back on the phone and says that I might want to contact my bank because there was no other envelope.


I apologize all over myself and tell her that I’ll drive up right away and give them the check so that they can deposit it before the bank closes.

Then I stomp back through the store.. grab my keys.. and tell the asshole that I have to drive the TWENTY MILES UP AND BACK on less then a quarter tank of gas.. because HE’S an IDIOT.

I don’t wait for him to say anything and my father in law has the good sense not to say anything either.

When I tell you I was pissed.. believe me. I was pissed. More pissed too, because I didn’t have any cash on me to get gas for the trip.

On the way up, I was almost in tears.

On the way back, I came to terms.

Whether I like it or not.. whether it makes my life easier or harder.. he is who he is and I married him. I either have to accept him.. and accept the stupid, bullshit things that he does.. or I don’t. Either I assume responsibility for handling everything that has to do with the house and finances, etc. or I don’t. Either I stay married… or I get divorced.

And the thing is.. there are things that I am just better at. Paying the bills on time and managing money being at the top of the list.

With everything going on OUT Of my control ( read that as being his kids ) .. I have to control the things that I can and I can’t fault him for not being the person I WANT him to be… and for all his faults, he does have more redeeming qualities that maybe I don’t talk about enough here.

It’s really as simple as that.

So by the time I got back to the shop, I was over it.

And when I walked into the store (( behind the cop who was asking if anyone from the shop had called 911.. but that’s ANOTHER story ))  he stopped slicing a customer’s order and just hugged me.. telling me how sorry he was and how much he loved me.

I appreciated his sincerity more then he could ever know..

I stayed for a few more hours and when I was getting ready to leave, he said:

HIM: I have an idea!!!!!! Let’s recreate our first date!!!

ME: Um.. yea.. I don’t think you can..

HIM: What do you mean?

ME: Dude.. you don’t have it like that no more. You’d need to close the store and take a four hour nap first?

HIM: Why? We went for coffee that night

ME: Yea.. and fucked for five hours straight afterwards..

HIM: Ooooohhhhh…. yea….. that’s right! Raincheck, maybe??

Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, I don’t make it a habit of having sex with someone on the first date.. there’s a back story to that but that’s another post for another time..

In the end, we had hot dogs for dinner because we were broke and the boys were home. We locked the dogs out of our room.. put a blanket on the floor and ate our hot dogs pretending we were sitting at the primo table at the Palms.

Sometimes.. you don’t need a lot of money.. and sometimes, you just have to accept things the way they are and be happy in it.

  1. Sharon says:

    Happy third anniversary! New stepmom reader here. I’m glad to have found your blog – it is funny and most importantly, REAL. Thanks for writing it.

    If I can offer you one piece of advice….Don’t burn yourself out doing nice things for Chief’s kids because in the end, they probably won’t appreciate the wonderful stepmom that you are. I hate to see you using all your gas money driving kids around. I’m just saying you need to maintain your personal boundaries so you don’t feel used, abused, and taken for granted. It’s very easy to get burnt out and feel resentful.

    P.S. I’m totally hooked on the solitaire app too. :)

    • Leese says:

      Hi Sharon!!!!

      thanks for stopping by and thanks for the compliment and I completely get you on the “doing for them” crap. Not sure how much you’ve read so far, but only the younger two live with us .. and I stopped doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for them recently. I’ll cook dinner but that’s mainly for my husband and IF.. IF!! .. they put their clothes in the hamper, then I’ll wash them but I’m done chasing after them or digging under their beds for clothes that have to be washed. I don’t drive them anywhere anymore.. buy them anything anymore just because they want it.. nothing. And guess what? A lot of the frustrations went out along with the good deeds. They’ve already been told that they would have to find their own way to school in the morning.. or call their mother and let her drive them.. we live well in walking distance to both schools so there’s no fear of cruel and unusual punishment .. except an attack on their laziness!!

      Add me to a list of your fans… I really enjoy your blog as well!!

  2. beautiful – the whole thing – even the fuck up. these men we love (I’m pretty sure they would be best friends) are not perfect – but somehow they manage to be perfect for us.

    Congratulations to you and I wish you much love, happiness and peace in the year to come

    • Leese says:

      I’m sure they would be best friends, Wicked!! LOL!!
      I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed, especially for the “peace” part!! LOL

  3. You made me happy, sad AND angry all in the same post. Life isn’t easy is it?

    • Leese says:

      Life isn’t easy, MTAE .. I guess I learned it’s how you deal with it … especially since one can’t change how other’s act, only how we REACT …
      I have that written on a posty and stuck it to my bedroom mirror!!

  4. Trip X says:

    Happy 3rd Anniversary Leese! “They” say the first 3 years are hell. I wish I knew who “they” were, ’cause I’d shake them good and hard until “they” had shaken adult syndrome. Don’t give up on the youngest one; I think you may eventually alter his life with your love, even if it’s tough love.

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