Archive for July 10, 2010


Posted: July 10, 2010 in Thinking

My dog having the hiccups is freakin’ hysterical.

I don’t think he would appreciate my saying so, tho!

Well.. first of all.. I don’t drink out of cans.

Call it a character flaw but it just gives me the heebie jeebies.

Anyway.. I couldn’t find a picture of the bottle online and I was already half way through the one I was drinking and that wouldn’t make a cool picture so..


Let me tell you something.. I LOVE THIS STUFF!!

It’s sweet.. but not too sweet and the burst of peachy flavor you get when you take a swig is like taking a bite out of a really ripe, juicy peach that you snagged from your neighbor’s tree.

What I like to do with it is splash some into a glass of seltzer water which satisfies the kids need for soda but without all the sugar and calories of traditional soda. I’ve even poured it over shaved ice and added it to fruit salad.

So if you’re having one of those 100 degree days that we’ve had here for the past week, give this a try. It truly is GOOD STUFF!

… so yesterday, I read something that DatGurl posted on her blog and got my girly things all in a twist when I kept reading about how all this is being driven by racism.

I got so torqued that I left a comment without giving myself enough time to breath and formulate the point I really wanted to get across. So y’all are the lucky ones that get to read this!! LOL!!

So let’s agree on a few things first.

There is an out of control problem with people crossing the border illegally According to which side you consider truth, there are somewhere between 13 and 20 MILLION people here and they ain’t suppose to be.

Breaking the law is illegal, right? Therefore, they are ILLEGALS.

The supreme ruled that any person on United States soil is afforded the same rights and United States citizens and therefore are given welfare and food stamps and the such.

Ok. So why is everyone screaming racism? Because they are from Mexico? Would the racism flag be waving if the French Canadians were swimming across in droves? I don’t think so.

People… if you’re one of the ones waving that flag then you are being played.

My daddy always used to tell me that if you want to catch the big fish you have to go deep. So let’s go deep. Let’s go all the way to the bottom of the pond and really figure out who is indeed, being racist. The people wanting to keep them OUT or the people wanting to keep them IN?

In fact, I’m really going to be controversial here and replace the word racism with SLAVERY.

Ask yourself this?

Who employs these people? Why do they want to employ them?

Business’ employing illegals know that they can get away with paying next to nothing. Is that fair to the person working the fields all day? Is it fair that they have to be treated like sub-humans because their illegal status is being exploited for profit? These people have to do what they have to do to provide for who they have to provide for at the mercy of the company throwing them a bone.

Go ahead and tell me that’s not wrong!

Those that are here for noble reasons ( wanting a better life ) are being enslaved. There is no denying that. But they are also draining resources .. along with every other person who receives welfare and shouldn’t.. This country cannot.. repeat.. CANNOT sustain the blind shelling out of money. There’s nothing left on the teet to suckle.

So where do we go from here?

First of all, the migrant farm workers? Put them on a 6 month visa. Let them come in.. work.. BUT THEN GO HOME. Come and go and much as you want but if you come in.. you gotta go back. This country isn’t a roach motel.

Companies that hire illegals should be heavily fined or levied for hiring them in the first place but if they are documented, then there should be standardized pay and have their wages taxes like every other American. If you can be afforded the rights of citizens per the Supreme Court, then your afforded the good AND the bad.

It isn’t feasible to send all the illegals back to where they came from but how about if we give them 3 months to leave on their own.. if not, well.. then we’ll do what other countries do to the people who sneak in to THEIR country.

Change the citizenship process. It’s antiquated and run by a bunch of idiots. If you’re a documented worker then you should be able to be fast tracked.

I may be right.. or I may be wrong.. but one thing I’m certain of.. this out of control problem CAN be rectified as long as it’s being worked on by people who have no special interests or political affiliations or aspirations.

Ok. I’m done being controversial. I’m going to watch the Real Housewives Of New Jersey now!!



Can I just say, “.. we’re fine, BITCH” and leave it at that??

Nah.. I didn’t think so!

You know.. honestly.. what kind of woman searches the internet for her former boyfriend, after over three years,  and when finding that he is now married and finds his WIFE on Facebook, sends a message to her trying to act all like Ya-Ya Sisterhood and tells you Everything! You! Need! To! Know! About! Your! HUUUSSSSBBBAAANNNNDDDD!!!!

Did you get the shrill? ‘Cause, honest to God, THAT’S the heading of the message I got via Facebook and I SWEAR I heard the shrill!!

I guess too you kind of figured out that um.. things ended BADLY between them?

So let me tell you a few things about me:

  • I am not a jealous person. If someone wants to steal Chief from me then they can have him, his three dysfunctional kids, his crack whore ex-wife AND his goofy family.
  • People’s past don’t affect my present or future. Unless of course, you keep key elements out that I really should know about.. like maybe you’re father has a penchant for squeezing boobs.
  • The only thing I really require in a relationship is honesty and communication. Oh. And sex. But with plastic and batteries, I’ve moved that down on the list.

So I knew about Laura. The previous live-in girlfriend. I knew that she had had gastric bypass surgery but never had all the extra skin flaps removed so he wasn’t attracted to her sexually which caused a riff in their relationship. I knew that she was controlling.. argumentative.. was jealous.. had issues with the crack whore.. issues with the kids.. issues with his vices.. and treated him like another child in her house. I also knew that they made a deal where she sold him her SUV in exchange for his car and 1800.00 and that when they broke up, she had the SUV taken because the title was still in her name leaving him with three kids to feed and a job 20 miles away with no way to get there.

At least.. that’s what HE told me.

I’m old enough to know that there are two sides to every story and the truth. I also know that when you meet someone, they’re not going to tell you anything that’s going to put them in a bad light.

But like I said.. as long as it doesn’t have a negative affect on me, then it just rolls off my back. There are things in my past too. Everybody has them.

So imagine my surprise one day a month or so ago when I get a message on my facebook asking me if I am related to Chief. Now, my profile is set to private so no one can see my pictures or info unless you’re on my friends list BUT you can send a message to someone with a Friend’s Invitation.

Do I really need to school you on Facebook???

Anyway.. the message was from a male and so I thought that maybe it was one of Chief’s childhood friends. Chief’s twin brother Sarge is a Facebook fanatic and he’s always trying to get Chief to sign up. Chief wants nothing to do with it and every so often I get a message from someone they knew from childhood.

So I replied that yep, we were married.

A few days later, I get this message with the subject line I mentioned above and in it, she went on for about 18 paragraphs about everything he had told me only slanted to favor herand things that I already figured out from living with him.

As I read it, the words BITCH, PLEASE!! came to my brain after every other sentence.

I know myself better then to respond right away. I had to maul it over a little. Digest it. Dicipher it. I didn’t say anything to Chief because what good would that do? Chief’s cousin Bird happened to stop by and this was the last thing I wanted to do was go into it with her nosy ass so I started cleaning my closet out. When I’m this ball of energy, I clean.

I knew from way before that there were training manuals at the bottom of the closet that belong to her. I had found them the first time I ever cleaned that closet before I started living here and I left them because like I pointed out above, I’m not the jealous type and I wasn’t going to just throw stuff out that either didn’t belong to me or make it look like I cared that they were there.

But a weird thing happened and I’ll tell you, if you don’t thing that the universe ( in my case, God ) works in weird ways then you’re not paying attention to what’s around you.

When I pulled the manuals out to put them in the trash, a paper with directions fell out and on that paper was an email address with Chief’s first and last name. One that I didn’t know he had. Hmmmm… should I? He’s not really good at deleting stuff so maybe… hmmm!!! I’m not a snooper by any means. I mean, I know his password to the email account that he’s been using since I met him and never once checked. I don’t look in wallets.. don’t look in coat pockets ( which is why I always wash gum ).. don’t even open mail that’s addressed to him but considering the message I got from her on Facebook I figured why the hell not. Something is going to come out of something so I may as well be the one to MAKE it something if I have to.

Life Lesson # 65459: Better to be on the offense then defense

So I go online and type in the email address and use the password that he uses for EVERYTHING and … VIOLA!!

That easy.

And I found emails to and from her and it was everything that he had told me. He hadn’t twisted anything to make himself look like the victim and I have to say, I was impressed. And seeing the things she wrote back and realizing that she was having the same issues with them that I was and am ( cleanliness being first and foremost ) .. something kind of dawned on me that let all that angst about him and his kids and the frustrations to rest.

Bet she didn’t see THAT coming, huh?

And so I messaged her back the following:

You know, I think it’s bizarre that after more then three years, you feel a need to put yourself in his life. I’ve been through bad break ups before but I guess I have more self esteem then to troll the internet looking for an old boyfriend and then contacting someone I think is a relative but turns out to be his wife. You taking the time to write all that wrote actually just tells me more about you then it does about him. But given that I am a strong, independent and secure woman who has absolutely no insecurities in my marriage I’ll address your message. You said your peace, now I’m going to say mine and then that will be the end of it.

You’re relationship with him failed because you would not let him be who he is. You wanted to change him and there is not enough love in the world to change someone. You, by your own self admission, treated a grown man like a child. You consistantly took his self-respect and put him down to build yourself up. You wanted him to be who YOU wanted him to be.. not who he is. Hopefully, you didn’t treat the men in any subsequent relationships the same way. Or maybe you did and that is why you needed to find him.

The one thing you probably weren’t mature enough to understand is that his lack of parenting skills are the result of him not having been exposed to good parenting skills. I’m sure you know about his upbringing so how could you have possibly held it against him knowing that he did not have a good example to emulate? Again, that really says more about you then it does him.

As far as [ the crack whore] is concerned, she is the boys mother and will always be the boy’s mother. His willingness to allow the boys to see her whenever she wanted  has absolutely nothing to do with him still having feelings for her, like you suggested. You trying to close her out by not allowing them to talk to her when she was in jail was just childish and immature. Really, who did you think you were? You tried controlling every aspect of their lives.. treated [Chief] like less of a man.. started arguments about every little thing and you really wonder why the relationship failed? You were trying to force round pegs into square holes and look where it got you.

The other statement you made that really made me hysterical ( thank you for that ) is that fact that he’s an online predator of woman and cheats. Um. No. Just because he was not attracted to you sexually does not mean it was because he was cheating. And even though it is none of your business, I will satisfy your curiosity by saying we have a very, very healthy sex life. What good that does for you emotionally, I have no clue but you wanted to know and there it is.

Lastly, if it makes you feel better about yourself to think of him as a loser then go right ahead. The fact of the matter is that he has a successful business and after three years together we are gloriously happy to be with each other. Is all perfect? No, it isn’t. The kids are the kids and will be the kids. One either has to either work with it or work against it.

I work with it.. you worked against it. That’s why I’m here and you’re not.

So see, y’all.. I can be adult and mature when I want to be!! I haven’t received a message back and I’m certain I won’t be. And yknow, as much as I bitch and complain and vent and all those other things I do here about Chief and the kids, what it comes down to is the fact that this is my family and if you try to fuck with that, I’m going to fuck right back!!