Archive for July 9, 2010


Posted: July 9, 2010 in Thinking

I bought a new fridge on the day Gianni Versace was murdered.

Does that mean anything???

From OK! Magazine SpreadI’m going to say that Bethenny Frankel late of The Real Housewives of New York and most recently Bethenny Getting Married?  is the type of person you either like.. or you don’t.

I never really watched RHWONY so I didn’t really follow her or pay attention to things written about her and then one day I watched a RHWONY marathon because the remote fell and the batteries when under the bed and if you ever looked under my bed, you’d think I made the wise choice too.

Anyway… so I’m watching this Bethenny Frankel person and I’m thinking.. I dig this chick and I dig her for the exact same reasons why people don’t.

She’s loud, abrasive, forgets the mouth filter, tells it like it is and doesn’t hide from her past.. no matter how brutal it is.

She’s a like like me in a lot of ways so how could I not like her?

On her show, Bethenny really lets you in. I don’t know how much was let out during the RHWOFNY seasons but to tell anyone watching about your childhood.. about your baggage.. about your phobias.. I give her credit. And last night when she finally got married and you can see.. even on tv.. how in awe she was .. well, you can fell her happiness. At least I could. And yes, I cried. I cried because of the words she said to her husband and cried because I am just as happy for her as she is.

I’m a hopeless romantic … and a dork!

Little Girl Lost

Posted: July 9, 2010 in Just Stuff
Tags: ,

.. well she’s not little. She’s 23.

And even though no one has seen her since last weekend, I think she’s been lost for a very long time.

This morning while reading the paper, I happen to notice a picture of a girl that used to come into the shop a lot the first year we were open. She came in from time to time and her sister, most recently about a month ago.

I know it’s hard thing for a family to deal with.. it’s horrendous when someone goes missing but sadder is the life this girl led. This is a relatively small town and like a lot of towns like this one, Weed’s generation is nothing but thug wanna-bes, dealers and junkies. She ran with this crowd.. so did her sister. There wasn’t a time I remembered them coming in when I didn’t think they were fucked up.

When I saw her picture in the paper this morning, I said to Chief, “… look who’s in the paper.”  He stared at it for a minute and then I explained to him who she was. He didn’t say anything.. I guess as a father his first thought was of his son.. in rehab.. and how one day that picture could be of Weed.

He asked me what I thought and I said I wasn’t suprised. Considering what she was into.. and who she ran around town with.. it’s almost inevitable.

I hope for her baby’s sake that they find her but you know how stories like this end.

Because regardless of what she did in her life, she is someone’s mother and no child deserves to lose their mother.

So .. what’s this like? The FOURTH time this kid was sent up to county prison?

Let’s see..

The first time he was drunk, high and got caught stealing stuff like a shower cap, half roll of pennies and a candy bar from neighborhood cars. In other words, crack head shit. Which, yknow, his mother IS so.. not saying anymore. That time :: what was it? About two years ago? :: his bail was 2000.00 which nobody had to put up so he had to stay up at county until his hearing. Chief scrambled hard.. talked to the public offender.. talked to the judge.. and he was offered a deal where if he went RIGHT into rehab, he could get released and when his probation was over .. and fines paid.. it would be wiped from his record.

You’d THINK he would have kept his nose clean, right?

Nope.. not THIS Mensa member.

The second time he got arrested was for.. oh, let me see.. he was drunk, high and trying car door handles. His crack whore mother was able to bail him out that time because she had a new john boyfriend to borrow the money from. He had a hearing for that one, but honestly, I don’t remember what happened. He had long been thrown out of our house at the time so I really didn’t care one way or the other.

Then at the end of April, he got arrested again. THIS time for being drunk, high and trying to steal a Lava Lamp from a car. Yes. A lava lamp. I’ll repeat that just so that you can shake your head again: A. LAVA. LAMP. You can read all about it HERE and HERE annnnnd HERE

Now June 29th… for Oh! Can you guess??

Come on.. I know you know!

I KNOW you KNOW because only a pill popping alcoholic would get arrested FOR THE FOURTH TIME DOING THE EXACT SAME THING!

When the call came in the morning of the 30th, Weed was just about to be arraigned. He called Chief and Chief went ballistic on the phone. He walked the two minutes to the court house and went ballistic on his simple ass again. So loud that the court guy had to come out and tell him to keep it down because the Judge was in session and could hear him. GOOD! LET HIM! Chief shouted.

When it was his turn to go before the Judge, Weed was still obviously still wasted and the Judge sent him up to county on a 10,000.o0 bail. All told, Weed has been in front of this judge around 8 or 9 times. Chief talked to him after he was off the bench and the Judge told him that if he could get him into an inpatient rehab, he would release Weed without bail. So now, Chief was on a mission.

In the two minutes that it took him to walk back to the shop, Weed calls. When I answer the phone he’s crying and tells me that he can’t go back to prison. That he knows I have a thousand dollars. I told him I do. FOR MY RENT. He keeps saying he can’t go back to prison.. he can’t go back to prison. I tell him that he shouldn’t have gotten drunk, wasted and trying to break into something he doesn’t own.

I have no sympathy. None.

They were taking him up to county so he had to get off the phone.

When Chief comes in, he tells me everything that happened and gets on the phone calling rehabs and whatever.

That night, the phone calls started. We had to, yet again, set up the inmate phone scam :: the prison gods must have taken pity because we had received the refund from the unused money in his account from the 3rd time he was arrested :: and when I tell you this kid called EVERY FREAKIN’ FIVE MINUTES!!!

He wanted out.. and the more Chief told him that he had to sit it out until the 6th and then he would go to rehab.. the more pissed of he got and started talking shit to Chief. i wanted to bail him out just so I could kick his ass for being such a douchebag.

And the more he called.. and the more his called drug us away from more important things.. the more pissed I got. At one  point, on Sunday when Chief was sleeping and refused to talk to him, I said, “.. yknow.. as often as you’ve been up there you’d think you’d know the drill. I mean, you really should be given new inmate tours or something.”

I swear, even when he was up there the FIRST time he didn’t call nearly as much!

So the 6th comes and because of the holiday weekend, the arm that stamps whatever paper needed to be stamped was doing what people who aren’t in prison do.. that being celebrating the July 4th holiday.. and so there was a wait.

The judge kept up his side of the bargain and told Chief that he was giving Weed 72 hours to get his simple ass into rehab and in those 72 hours, he was to remain in Chief’s sight. If he was NOT in Chief’s sight, Chief was to call the police where they would pick him up and have him sent back to prison with a 10,000 CASH bail.

Just so happens that the crack whore.. who was no where to be found during the week Weed was in prison, shows up at the courthouse. Chief tells her that it was her turn to pick him up at the prison.

When he told me, I was like WTF? I mean, I wasn’t looking forward to the drive to the prison and back but I knew exactly what would happen. Her pill ridden self would pick him up and he would go back to her place instead of ours, like he was suppose to. Nope, Chief said. He’s coming here for the night.

So guess what happened?

The phone rang at 9:30pm and I hear him say “.. you heard the Judge”.

Then the phone rang at 10pm and I hear him say “.. do what you want. I don’t care.”

Weed didn’t come to our house that night. Becasue, yknow.. I’m always right.

The next morning when I got to the shop, Weed was already there.. head hanging between his knees?

Tired? I ask sarcastically.

He says no.. his life just sucks.

“Shame” is all I said walking past him.

His life sucks because even though HE told the judge he would go to rehab.. he only said that because he thought he would be released that day. Now that he HAD to go to rehab.. he didn’t want to go but the only alternative was prison because yknow, even though he has NO memory of ANY time he was arrested, he doesn’t “have” a problem.

Yea. Rock? Hard Place? Meet idiot.

In order to get into the bed that Chief got for him, he needed to get assessed at a local Drug and Alcohol place. He went but they told him he needed to apply for Welfare first. Wonderful. Proud day for his parents I’m sure and yet ANOTHER burden on already over-taxed tax payers. What he doesn’t get is the paper he needs to get signed so I drive him back to the center.

They tell me that THEY can’t sign the center.. he had to go to another center that was fully staffed and was a crisis center so they would be able to do anything he needed to get done. I offered to drive him but I think he knew that if I did, he wouldn’t be able to get one last fix in. He told me he wanted me to drive him back to the crack whore’s apartment and she would take him.

Fine. You’re 21. It’s your decision. Just remember you haven’t been making good ones lately.

I’m sure he hates me.. but I really don’t care.

From what I was told by Chief, there was some confusion when the crack whore drove him to the crisis center because yknow.. she’s an idiot on top of being wasted all the time but the deed was finally done and he’s in a swanky facility that the state is paying for. The worse part about all this is that HE doesn’t want to be there so HE is taking up space that someone who wants to be there can’t have and HE is stealing money from tax payers to pay for a treatment he doesn’t want AND he is going to get out and do the same thing he was doing before.

But I think this time even Chief is done.

When the judge asked him why he bothered going through all the trouble to get Weed into Rehab, Cheif looked him in the eye and said, “.. I really don’t know.”

I don’t know either.

Fur Baby 4: ALFONZ

Posted: July 9, 2010 in Pets
Tags: , ,

Okay.. so about two weeks ago or so, me and Chief headed out to Dunkin’ Donuts around 11pm.Alfonz, The Female Kitty

Just let me reinstate the fact that we’re idiots. We knew.. KNEW.. we didn’t have any coffee at the house OR the store for that matter so does ONE OF US drive the three blocks to WalMart and get a HUGE can of Maxwell House for 5 bucks?


For one, he can’t drive yet and two, we’re just idiots.

So off to DD we head.

When we get into the car, I hear this tiny little meow. Then I hear it again. Chief’s ignoring it.. and me.. because he knows what’s going to happen.

ME: Did you hear that?
HIM: Hear what?
ME: The cat meowing
HIM: um…….. nope

Anyway.. so he tells me that he did hear it.. DOES hear it, as a matter of  fact, every morning for the past three days when he leaves for work. Apparently, the people that lived across the street moved out leaving the kitty to fend for itself. After giving him the GLARE.OF.DEATH he tells me when we get back from DD he’ll put some food out for it.


So we go get coffee and on the way back.. just as I’m pulling the car next to the house, he jumps out of the car and run up into our back yard. Before I know what the HELL is going on, he races into the house. The word “SQUIRT” entered my head ‘cuz yknow, those things DO happen but I follow him into the house and he’s on the back porch with this little meowing kitten.

I guess the look on my face said it all because before I got a word out he explained that when we pulled up, he saw the kitten in our yard about to have the crap kicked out of it by the yellow feral cat that’s in the neighborhood. He did the “psst psst psst” thing that people do with cats :: the one that I personally haven’t mastered :: and the kitten just about jumped into his arms.

So while I was all … Awww.. I love this man.. he gave her food and water and put the gate up so that Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy wouldn’t bother her. We went into the bedroom and I was like We gonna keep him? We gonna keep him? and he was like I dunno .. so I started to come up with names because yknow, once you NAME an animal it’s yours, right?

So I started saying Bob .. or Chuck.. or Ronald.. and he said Alfonz and I loved it.

It wasn’t until the next morning when I picked her up that I realized he was actually a she and realized that she wasn’t about to the the crap kicked out of her by the other cat, but brutually jail raped. When I told Chief, I knew that as much as he isn’t fond of cats he wasn’t going to put her out knowing she’d be in danger so she’s been with us ever since.

And let me tell you.. she is one crazy cat. She sleeps in the bathtub.. or the sink.. turns up in cabinets or in the laundry hamper.

In other words… she fits.