Archive for April 23, 2010

To All My Blogger Buddies…

Posted: April 23, 2010 in Just Stuff
Tags: , ,

Just a warning…

I’ll be doing some catching up and reading all your blog posts that I missed over the last few months.. expect to be flooded with comments!! LOL!!

I missed reading you guys and hope you don’t hold it against me!!!

Muah!!!!

thump thump! thump thump!

So I just finished watching The Back Up Plan.

First let me say that I really, really like Jenny From The Block when she plays these quirky woman in these silly romantic comedies.

Lest anyone forget that I AM a girl and that sometimes I like watching silly romantic comedies. Especially when Jennifer Lopez plays quirky in them.

If you’ve don’t already know, the movie is about this single woman who wants to have a baby so she buys some sperm and gets turkey basted.. only to meet the man of her dreams after she leaves the doctor’s office.

The doctor, by the way, played HYSTERICALLY by Robert Klein.

Anyway.. the man of her dreams?

Alex O’Loughlin … who just may have replaced Gerald Butler as the man of MY dreams.

I mean really…

Where the HELL did this man come from?

Ok.. I know he’s from Australia :: yes, I’m pathetic. I googled him :: .. but seriously. How the hell has HE been flying under my radar??

I actually had to watch the movie twice because  the first time I was way too occupied wiping the drool off my chin but honestly, I thought it was a really cute movie.

JLo is much better when she plays this type of character :: think The Wedding Planner :: then she is in flicks like Angel Eyes or Enough. She’s kinda like Hugh Grant that way.

Alex O’Louglin is the dude that knocks her off her heels.. not that I think he would have to try that hard. At all.

If you just take it for what it is.. a light hearted, funny little movie with a smoking hot Australian actor playing the lead roll.. you won’t be disappointed.

Highly recommended for the other card carrying sisters of the SLEEPING NEXT TO A SNORING PASTY WHITE MAN club!!

First.. let me say that I would quote all the text messages that the Crack Whore sent me on Tuesday but my phone only stores 70 messages at time and she went WELL over that limit.

Thank GOD I have unlimited texting because if I had to pay one penny more on my cell bill because of that fucking cunt, three years worth of pent up frustration would have come out on her skanky ass.

So you’re just going to have to take me word on the following..

Not that I would lie about anything.. it’s too fucking absurd to even think about making this shit up.

Also, I had to wait a few days to post this because I had to get to a mental place where I could find the humor in it..

On to it:

So, this past Tuesday was Weed’s court date. The day before, the Crack Whore told me that she wasn’t going to be able to take off work to be at the courthouse and that he couldn’t come back and live with her because her landlord would evict her.

Whether or not that was the truth, I don’t know. I do know that she can lie with a straight face in person so I’m sure she can easily ace a text message. At any rate, that’s what she was saying and I knew as sure as I really, really need to dye my hair what was coming next.

So the day before, I had this conversation with Chief and told him what she said AND that there was no way in HELL that he was coming back to live with us.

He agreed but wasn’t too concerned about where his son was going to lay his head because after all the run ins that Weed has had with the police AND with the judge, he figured that there was no way in HELL that he was going to get away with not spending at least 55 days in jail. He figured he had plenty of time to figure out Weed’s living arrangements.

He figured wrong.

That morning, Weed was able to call Chief and Chief told him that he needed to be humble in front of the judge and apologize for how he acted.. he also said that he needed to see if the judge would accept some kind of payment arrangement for his fines.

Um..

Excuse Me?

When Chief got off the phone, I said to him .. like.. what’s the deal with this whole “payment arrangement” thing? I mean.. as it stood, he was already working off his fines for another court case in ANOTHER county.. which does hurt us financially.. how the hell was he suppose to work in another one? Unless like.. he’s going to get a real JOB.

Chief said that he only told him that to keep him optimistic.. and that yknow.. he figured Weed was looking at 55 days to sit and figure it all out.

He figured wrong.

We go down to the courthouse and when the judge brings Weed in .. all in leg shackles and handcuffs and a pretty blue jumpsuit that matched his eyes.. he took Chief’s advise and was all humble and apologetic and tells the judge that he was prepared to pay a hundred dollars a week on his fines.

Like.. isn’t that what we’re already doing for the other county?

The judge asks Weed if he has a job and I’m all thinking HELL FUCKING NO but Weed tells him that he works in his father’s deli. The judge :: who isn’t a stranger to Chief both as the father of a fucked up son and as a previous defendant on a bullshit case :: asks him if that was true. Chief tells him that it is .. that he’s working to pay off his fines and that the money is sent right to the court house.

For whatever fucking reason.. maybe because when Weed isn’t all fucking up on drugs and alcohol he is well spoken and not a wanna be thug .. the judge tells him that he will release him with out having to pay bail AND if he stays clean and straight for 60 days, he will drop all the fines.

Um.. come fucking again?????????

He tells Cheif that Weed can be picked up at the county prison at 9pm that night.

Um.. COME FUCKING AGAIN????

OMG.. this is NOT going the way I thought it would.

They take Weed back to do whatever it is they need to do with him and Chief goes up to the judge to talk to him. I walked out. I needed a cigarette.

Actually, I think I needed a shot of black tar heroine if I did stuff like black tar heroine.. but a good shot of nicotine would do the trick.

Chief finally comes outside and he said that he told the judge that he was at a loss for what to do with him and thanked him for giving him yet another opportunity.

Uh. huh.

Then he tells me to text the Crack Whore and tell her to pick him up that night.

And thus started a war of words that.. yknow.. I might have sadistically enjoyed if she was on my intellectual level. But since she is no where near it, it just became a chore.

When I told her about picking him up, she texted back that she couldn’t.. that he couldn’t live with her anymore.. that she would get evicted.. that she wasnt going to lose her home because of him.. that we have a four bedroom house.. that Chief said that he could live back with us .. that he needs to be a father..

Um.. wait.

Rewind that?

Chief TOLD her that he could live back at our place?

So I asked Chief.. and he said that she was lying. That he said that he would have to talk to me and Weed about it.

Like.. um.. what is there to talk about???

Like.. um.. haven’t I said ALL ALONG that I didn’t want him back and if he came back I’d be moving myself out while he was moving himself in?

Like.. um.. who’s lying here? I learned along time ago that Chief isn’t necessarily the most truthful of persons when he’s back into a corner and I’ve learned a long time ago that if the end result is me getting what I want that yknow what? Fucking lie away. I just know not to believe anything he says regarding certain things anymore.

Now.. because I’m on a higher intellectual level AND because my brain isn’t full of alcohol or drug related holes in my brain :: saw that on Sober House with Dr. Drew.. very interesting stuff :: I was able to do what I do best and twist it around.

So I told her that we were in the same boat. That OUR landlord didn’t want Weed living at our place either.. and that our lease was revised to only allow 4 people instead of 5. I told her that because of all the damage that Weed has done to the house.. completely trashing two bedrooms.. breaking 4 window frames.. that we now had to pay an extra 100.00 a month in the rent and that the ONLY reason why we haven’t moved is because SHE moved into the town and that would have meant she wouldn’t have had the access to Bubba and Spaz that she has now.

That went over her head.

She kept on insisting that Chief had said that if Weed cut his hair and got his GED, he would be allowed to move back in.

I told her that Chief had kept his promise but when Weed moved back in, our house got robbed twice and he was dealing from the store.

She didn’t want to hear that either. She kept on trying to sling the same tired bullshit.

So I was like, why is it okay for YOU not to be evicted but not okay for US not to be evicted? Why is it okay to fuck over Bubba and Spaz? Why is it okay for THEIR lives to be disrupted because of you 21 YEAR OLD fuck up of a son?

What about Sarge, she asked. What about Chief’s other brother?

What about her parents, I shot back. What about YOUR brother?

That wasn’t going to happen, she said. She was done with it.. it was our problem now.

Nice.

And she said something else that I actually can’t remember verbatim and was one of the texts that got wiped out on my phone.. but it had something to do with Weed not coming back to the house because of me and only me. That Chief would NEVER turn his back on his son.

And yknow.. at that point I was done with it and told her so. I told her that I could give two shits what happened to him and that they can all go to therapy for all their dysfunction and that this is the kind of shit that happens when I lowered my standards.

And then I put my phone on silent and tossed it in my handbag.

But I was railing. And relayed everything to Chief.

He got on the phone and called his brother Sarge to ask him if Weed could stay with him. Before he could even get the question out, Sarge said YES. We were going to pick Weed up at the prison.. he would stay with us over night.. and then after work the next day, Sarge would pick him up. The trolley line next to our store runs up to about a half a block from Sarge’s house so it would be easy for Weed to get to and from the store.

When Chief got off the phone, he was happy. So happy that he didn’t think about what he was saying.

I asked him how the conversation went, he told me that he told Sarge that he loved me and didn’t want this situation to damage our relationship. Nice sentiment and probably one of the reasons why Sarge was so ready to take Weed in.

Sarge has always said that I’m the best thing to happen to his brother .. but  I think Sarge would believe that of any woman Chief was with because they have this “thing” going on where Sarge constantly tried to one up Chief and deep down.. or maybe not so deep.. Sarge doesn’t think that Chief is a good father and he’ll take any opportunity to spotlight that.

That’s just my feeling and what the hell do I know.

Anyway.. so Chief goes on to say that he’s been thinking about Weed staying with Sarge since I guess the Crack Whore said she wouldn’t take him.

So I was like, Excuse me? Like.. you were thinking about this and didn’t think it necessary to clue me in? And if you weren’t going to clue me in, then why the HELL didn’t you say something to the Crack Whore when she was going off about Weed not living with her?

He said he didn’t want to deal with her.

So because YOU didn’t want to deal with you, it’s fair that I had to deal with her?

He got quiet and said that no, it wasn’t fair.

Damage already done, Bucky.

Truth be told, I don’t think he had been thinking about asking Sarge. I don’t believe that he thought he had 55 days to figure it out. I think he got scared. And he got scared because I told him that even though I joke around with Weed and don’t care if he eats dinner of the house or crashes for the night.. I hold a lot of animosity towards this kid and every time I’m near him, all I think about is my father’s jewelry that was stolen. I told him that Weed moving back in the house was a deal breaker. And I think he knew that with everything else that has happened between us.. and knowing that I was thisclose to leaving before.. he knew I wasn’t going to budge on this one.

So it was settled.

So I thought..

Because yknow.. there was the 21 year old alcoholic pill popping wild card that still needed to be told about the deal AND the pill popping Crack Whore that was coming back out of Alice’s rabbit hole.

As we were getting ready to pick up dinner for the boys, I remembered my cell phone and there were 5 text messages from the Crack Whore. Just basically saying the same shit but also that Weed can stay at her place WHERE HE WAS WANTED and could take a shower and be with all his things.

Throw me some sympathy because this is what I deal with …

So I texted her back and told her that Weed was getting picked up and was going to stay with Sarge but if she wanted him back then he was just going to do the same shit and get into the same trouble that he has been getting into for the year that he lived at her place but that I could care less.. I was out of it.

Then I shut my phone off.

We feed the boys and then make our way to the prison. It wasn’t long before Weed gets off the prison bus and is in the car.

On the way home, Chief tells him about the living situation and I relay to him my story about our landlord not wanting him to live at our place either.

Weed says, “.. you should have just left me in jail then.”

And when I tell you that the only reason I didn’t turn the car around was because the highway we were driving on had a concrete barrier that prevented me from doing so… believe it.

There wasn’t much conversation on the way home other then Chief trying to get Weed to see how the judge is giving him another shot and that he better take advantage of it and that he really needs to assess his life and where it’s going.

We get back to the house and I’m literally using forks to keep my eye lids open. I was physically and mentally exhausted.

So we go to sleep and Weed sleeps out on the couch and the next morning he got up while I was getting ready to take Spaz to school. I asked him if his cell phone was still working and he said it was .. and that he was going to use Spaz’s keys to go over to the Crack Whore’s to take a shower and get changed.

Fine.

Whatever.

So later on in the morning he comes into the shop to work. I tell Chief that when he does, I was going to leave so that they would have the opportunity to talk amongst themselves without me being around. In reality, I just wanted to get the hell out of the shop and all the drama and take a nap.

I had to run to the wholesalers and while I was gone, Chief and Weed did talk.. with Weed saying that he was going to stay at the Crack Whore’s instead of Sarge’s. He had already talked to her about it and that was that.

Chief told him that he was 21. That he was making his own decision BUT this was the LAST time that Chief was going to help him. If he got in trouble again.. don’t even bother calling.

Hearing that, I was like.. you got to be kidding me. I mean, seriously. What was all that drama about the landlord and the eviction and all that other bullshit? And then I was like, yknow what? I have the solution.

I told Chief and Weed that I had the answer to all the drama:

Chief would get his driver’s license back and we would move. Move way out into farm land where we could get the same size house for a lot cheaper rent .. Weed could move in with us :: thereby solving the Crack Whore’s eviction dilema and getting him away from his bad influences :: Bubba would go to a different high school and remove him from HIS bad influences and Spaz would get a fresh start in a better school district.

For me.. it would just monkey wrench the Crack Whore.

Chief readily agreed. He said he’s been thinking about moving for awhile and he thinks that it’s time. More then time.

So we’ll be looking.. the plan is to move during the summer before the kids start school.

Keep your fingers crossed that we find something.

As for me, I’m over all the drama.. all the dysfunction and I seriously may not write about it anymore. Too much toxic bullshit.

Anyway.. so that’s what it is and that’s how it goes.. and whatever will be will be.