Why Kids Shouldn’t Have Their Biological Mother’s Apartment Keys

Posted: April 18, 2010 in Bubba, Chief, Just Me, Spazz
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


So y’all should know by now how Bubba and Spaz are like oil and water. They hate each other.. wish each other were dead.. and a minute doesn’t go by when they are in the same room that there isn’t some kind of arguing between them.

During the week, it’s kind of tempered because of school but everybody in this house dreads the weekend.. especially since Bubba is grounded and isn’t allowed to leave the house. As much as I get some kind of glee when he IS grounded.. it just makes life that much more difficult because he’s a fucking bastard in the house.

Anyway.. Friday morning Spaz and I were leaving for the drive to school and hes tells me that he is going over the Crack Whore’s after school and is staying the weekend.

“.. I’ll see you Sunday night!” he says happily as he jumps out of the truck.

Cool. One less kid to worry about feeding or pacifying or referring.

Fast foward to the afternoon..

Spaz calls me to tell me that he’s home.. that he was going over the Crack Whore’s a little later.

Fast foward 20 minutes..

Spaz calls me to tell me that he’s on his way over to the Crack Whore’s place.

Fast foward 15 minutes..

I get a text from the Crack Whore saying to PLEASE tell Spaz that he is NOT allowed to stay over at her place because she is going away for the weekend and he’s too young to stay at her place without adult supervision.


The little bastard thought that he was going to sit up at her apartment the whole weekend .. playing video games big pimpin’ style.


So I called him on his cell.. but he didn’t answer. So I texted him on his cell and he didn’t respond.

I texted her back saying that there was no way in hell that he was going to stay there and she texted back saying that he just wasn’t understanding her.

So the thought hit me that it wasn’t so much that he didn’t UNDERSTAND her.. it was more like why he wasn’t allowed to when Bubba was.

Soooo… she let’s Bubba stay there by himself.


Anyway.. I finally get him on the phone and explain to him that he’s far too young to stay there THE. WHOLE. FUCKING. WEEKEND. by himself because she lives in an apartment building with 10 other apartments and God knows who comes in and out and whatever.. and OMG!!! If something BAD HAPPENED TO YOU I’d feel HOOORRRIIIBBBLLLEEE!!!

That did the trick. He didn’t like it but he accepted it. So I sent her a message saying that whenever either one of them stay there, I want to hear it from her and not take their word for it because OBVIOUSLY if she hadn’t said anything, we wouldn’t have thought anything of it and wouldn’t have known that he was there alone.

But you know.. to end it there would be that life was too freakin’ simple.

After everything is over.. or I thought it was over .. I get a phone call from her. She basically tells me that Bubba should be allowed over to his uncle’s for the weekend so that Spaz won’t feel bad about not being able to stay at her place.

You’re fucking kidding me, right?

She then goes on to say that Spaz told her that WE leave him alone ALL THE TIME.

No.. no.. no.. no.. no…

I tell her that we leave Spaz home alone for a few hours at a time but we are RIGHT DOWN THE STREET .. and at 11 going on 12, I’m comfortable with that but we NEVER leave him alone overnight.

I mean, come on.

So she pushes again for Bubba to be allowed to stay over at her place the weekend.. again insisting that Spaz needed a break.

And I’m like.. did you NOT say that you were going away??? How are you going to let Bubba stay at your place alone FOR THE WEEKEND when in all actuality, Spaz is the one who is way more responsible?

She had nothing to say to that .. so she hung up and again, I thought that it was over.

Silly, silly me.

A few hours go by and I go home to get ready for a party that I was going to. I walk in the house and I tell Spaz to close his bedroom window. He says he can’t because it’s stuck and when I go into his room, it’s a complete and utter pig sty.

No disrespect to actual pigs.

Bubba is no where to be found.

I ask Spaz where he’s at and he tells me he’s staying over the Crack Whore’s for the weekend.

Oh. No. FUCKING. Way.

So I call Chief.

First of all .. Chief left implicit instructions for Bubba to clean his room and do all his laundry when he came home from school. That OBVIOUSLY wasn’t done… and after the conversation with the Crack Whore earlier.. I’m like WHAT. THE. FUCK???

But Chief insisted that Bubba wasn’t going anywhere and he told her that and she was driving him home.

And she did .. and we confiscated their keys. Neither one of them liked it.. but you know, heh.. tough.

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