You Wanna Know .. But You Don’t REALLY Want To Know

Posted: January 25, 2010 in Bubba, Chief, Just Me
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Ok.. so this morning I woke up to torrential downpours. And when I say “torrential” I mean OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. LOOK. AT. THIS. RAIN!!!!

Now, just so you know.. I haven’t been writing about Bubba because I’m indifferent to Bubba. Could care less one way or the other whether or not he lives or breaths. Harsh, maybe.. but that’s how I feel and I’m going with it.

Since last Tuesday when I told him he wasn’t getting the computer and last Wednesday when I was forced to drive him home from the store, I haven’t said one word to him or barely even seen him for that matter.

Thursday was his birthday and it was basically a silent dinner. I did buy him stuff for his birthday .. sneakers, a hoodie and a cheap video camera not because I wanted to.. but I was in robot mode and just did what had to be done because it had to be done.

Now, I’m sure there are those out there who will be all I WOULDN’T HAVE DONE A FREAKIN’ THING but yknow.. it is what it is and contrary to POPULAR belief.. I know what I’m doing.

He made sure to thank his father numerous times and when Chief said, “.. well it was Leese’s idea for the video camera” he didn’t say anything.

Believe me, it doesn’t bother me. Better people then him have said worse things about me and yknow.. because he doesn’t matter to me, nothing he said to or about me matters either.

So.. yknow.. he never came home from school Friday .. stayed out all weekend without a phone call.. and if Chief noticed it or had any thoughts about it then he didn’t share. I think he’s afraid to because I don’t think he wants me reaction to it..

Just goes to show you how OUT of tune he is and how he really doesn’t know me at all.

Anyway.. Bubba didn’t come home last night until after I had already left for the laundromat and he was already asleep by the time I got home so it wasn’t until this morning that I actually had to be anywhere near him.

And yes.. I still drive him to school. Like I said.. “robot mode”. But I have my iPod stuck in my ears so the 5 minute drive to the high school is painless.

Anyway .. so like I said, it’s POURING out so after I drop Spaz off at school, I stop at the shop to get a cup of coffee and Chief says something about making pizza for dinner. We have the pizza dough in so as I’m getting that out of the freezer I mention something about Weed that I’ll post about later and the need to have a little ol’ chat with him.

Chief asks me if I’m going to be at the shop around 4 when Weed comes in and I mention that I told Spaz that I would pick him up from school because of the nasty weather.

CHIEF: What about Bubba?

ME: What about him?

CHIEF: You’re not going to pick him up?

ME: No.

CHIEF: You’re going to let him walk home in the rain?

ME: He has a mother with a car, doesn’t he?

CHIEF: What do you hate him or something all of a sudden?

ME: Hate? No. I don’t hate him. I’m indifferent to him. Hate is the opposite of love and therefore an emotion. I have no emotion for him.

CHIEF: << says something but I don’t remember what it is >>

ME: Look. I’m done with him treating me like shit.. disrespecting me.. giving me an attitude and being called a bitch because he doesn’t get what he wants.

CHIEF: I can understand that

ME: .. because there’s only one constant here. Me always keeping MY word and him always breaking his.

CHIEF: << starting to get uncomfortable >>

ME: .. so it was “Oh.. he’s only 12” and then it was “Oh.. he’s only 13” and “Oh.. he’s only 14” … so what’s it going to be? “Oh.. he’s only 30”?

CHIEF: << really starting to regret even bringing it up >>

ME: .. and I’m done with being the excuse why he’s never home. I’m never even in the same room with him so he uses me as his out to do whatever the fuck he wants to do.

CHIEF: I can understand that

CHIEF: You know what depresses me?

ME: What..

CHIEF: Rainy days and Mondays

ME: You want MY list???

Comments
  1. Shelli says:

    Woohoo!! You go girl! :-D

  2. Leese says:

    Woop! Woop!!
    Thanks Shelli!!!!!

  3. […] it was bad. I’m sure it’s been written about on here but the only post I found was THIS one. I really didn’t want to go back and relive that […]

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