Missing Crack Whores and A Lump On My Sofa

.. so early yesterday afternoon, Weed comes by the shop to hang out. He had slept over his friend’s house the night before and when he returned to the crack den, the doors were locked and the Crack Whore wasn’t answering her phone.

Because I had received both emails and text messages from her in the past two weeks where she “casually” mentioned that she had a job :: surprised, yes.. but there is never any telling what she’s going to do or how long it’s going to last :: I just as casually mention to Weed that maybe.. yknow… she’s at work.

He looked at me like I had just sprouted another head before falling out laughing.

ME: What?

WEED: Oh yea. A job. That’s funny.

ME: No.. seriously. She told me that she had a job.

WEED: Maybe walking to her car… ( still laughing )

ME: NO! SERIOUSLY! That’s what she said.

WEED: She doesn’t work. She can barely get out of bed. That’s why she keeps hounding me to get TWO jobs.

ME: Oh. Well, it is called a “blow job” so maybe that’s what she was talking about.

WEED: Yea, your probably confused because when YOU think “work” you assume it’s standing on your feet.

Not my fault her kids know her so well.

I have to say thought that I was pretty out done for like a hot second. I mean, there’s no reason to lie about it.. especially to me.. but whatever.

He was still at the shop when I was getting ready to leave. Chief comes out from the back and tells me that Weed wanted to know if it was okay with me to hang at the house and watch some tv or something.

I like that fact that Weed was concerned about my feeling about it so I was like.. yea.. whatever. I don’t care. I was actually thinking the same thing earlier because Chief gets antsy sometimes when there’s people just hanging out at the shop getting in his way.

So I take Weed home with me and he tried to call her a few times with no answer. At one point, he walked to the crack den.. found it still locked.. and walked back.

I asked him if he was going to sleep over.. he said he didn’t know. I told him as long as he didn’t piss on my floor or throw empty cold capsule blister packs in my toilet then he was more then welcomed. But if he wanted to leave, I’d drive him back to the den.

He wound up staying so I texted the Crack Whore to let her know “… so you don’t worry” that Weed was at our house and was going to stay over the night.

She never responded.

This morning, after driving Bubba to school, I swung by her place and sure enough her car wasn’t there.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she was either strung out.. in jail.. or OD’d but it looks like I’m going to have a house guest for a time and even though she HAD nine lives.. I’m thinking she’s only down to two or three by now.