My Mother’s A Bitch

Posted: November 30, 2009 in Just Me, My Family
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Ok.

First let me state for the record that I love my mother very much. If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have had the reaction that I had on Friday.

So Friday afternoon, Chief closed the shop early and we went for a ride out to a local farmer’s market. While there, my cell phone rings and it’s my mother. She immediately starts telling me something about my grandmother’s heating bill and some application that they never received from the gas company.

Had a great Thanksgiving.. thanks for asking, Mom.

So I tell her that I wasn’t home but when I did get home I’d call her and look up whatever information she needed online. She asks where we’re at and I tell her.

HER: Make sure you buy me something nice for Christmas.

ME: What are you Spaz? What do you mean make sure I buy you something nice for Christmas?

HER: Just what I said.

ME: Are you implying that I don’t buy you something nice for Christmas?

HER: Well, just make sure it’s from a nice store and not from the farmer’s market.

I was like, are you fucking kidding me? It may not seem like a big deal in print, but you had to hear the tone in her voice and the little sarcastic “hmph”.

And the thing is, I never shorted her on a gift.. regardless of what my financial situation was.. and now this year, since I’ve been laid off and money is tight I’m already feeling guilty that I have to be extra frugal and can’t go all out like I used to do. I figured people would understand.. I figured MY FAMILY would understand because really, when the hell did the true meaning of Christmas become how much money you spent on a gift?

IN FACT .. this year, I was going to get her one of those 200.00 laptops.

Key word: WAS

It just really got under my skin and really fucked up the rest of my day.

So when I got home, I called her like I said I was going to but was my usually chippy self. She picked up on it right away and asked me if I was mad about something.

But the WAY she asked it lit the neon sign that made it clear that she knew exactly what was bothering me.

So I tell her that I was upset.. that her comment about her Christmas gift had hurt my feelings.

Her reaction would have made you think that I was accusing her of smuggling drugs in puppy belly’s or something.

She said she was only joking :: of course she was only joking. .that’s EVERYBODY’S excuse when they say something that hurts somebody else’s feelings :: and that there must be something else bothering me. I told her there wasn’t.. she got all defensive again and pulled out her violin. She said that everybody can tease but her.. which is bullshit and I told her that. Then she said, “.. OH, GO FIND A JOB”.

Like.. what the FUCK?

What the FUCK does THAT have to do with anything?

By then, the wall went up and I was like, “.. yea. Find a job. Real nice.”

I didn’t even want to talk to her anymore. So I told her that the online application that I filled out was submitted and hung up.

Chief knew how upset I was.. and he was getting upset for me. Especially the whole job thing.. because she will never accept that working in the shop that I OWN is work. And that gets under his skin big time.

The thing is.. when your a child, you see your parents as “parents”.. but when your older and see your parents as the adults that they are, you also see their flaws.

My mother is, deep down, a good hearted person. She’s generous and funny and devout. But she’s also very judgmental, negative and opinionated on things she has no business having an opinion on.

She uses the fact that I’m her daughter as an excuse to say and do whatever it is she says and does and thinks it automatically gives her a free pass.

And it doesn’t.

Because there is never a justification to hurt someone’s feelings and not own up to it.

Comments
  1. Tasneem R says:

    Hi…Well do not get too upset about this whole thing…Well things are not always flowery between my mom and myself . But sooner of later the harsh feelings gets slackened and things seem back to normal . So don’t bother yourself much. Accept the fact that your mom’s thinking will never match with yours , so why to bother yourself all the time? Your are working at your own shop , so continue working there as long as you think you are making good money out of it . If not then start the hunt for the job with full zeal . :)
    Are You Mommy-Friendly?-Find out what kind of relationship you have with your mother.
    http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/mommyfriendly/mommyfriendly_instructions.asp

    It’s a free test .

    • Leese says:

      I hear what your saying Tasneem .. and generally, I just suck it up and count it as her just being her .. but this time really got under my skin because of the financial situation..

      When I was married the first time to the Spawn from Satan’s Ass, he was always getting us into financial holes that she helped dig us out of.. that doesn’t happen anymore and I’m thinking that instead of her being proud that we’re handling our own business without coming to her for help she maybe pissed off that I’m NOT asking for help .. if that makes any sense.

      We’ll see where it goes…

      Thanks.. as always.. for the comment!

  2. Gori Rajkumari says:

    Oh Praaaaaaaaise GAWD and halleluJA baby cause you are AH preachin’ to the CHOIR! Ah SAY Ah SAY you ARAH preachin’ to the CHOIR sista!

    hehe

    Don’t you just love that whole new perspective we get on our parents once we reach a certain age?

    • Leese says:

      Hey Gori!!

      How’s married life? Miss you girl!

      Yea.. parents as people. Who would have thunk it???

      (( glad you didn’t lose your southern accent!! LOL ))

  3. The Goober says:

    I feel your pain sister! Going through a bit of a family tiff myself. I haven’t spoken to my folks since June.

    • Leese says:

      Yea.. well.. you know a lot more about my mother issues then most Goob! But if your issue is the same issue we were talking about back in June then that just plain sucks.. and really, you have every right to be upset.

      I was talking to my brother the other day and was telling him what happened and he thinks that SHE thinks :: so you know RIGHT THERE that they were talking about me :: that it’s about this whole job think and me not having one.. and that if an opportunity comes along I’ll let it pass because I’m just spending my day having fun at the store.

      I’m like… FUN?

      FUN?

      Do you know who much freakin’ WORK owning a store it?

      You were there that one day when we got swamped .. running around like crazy people trying to satisfy the crazy people.. so how is that fun?

      She just aggravates the shit out of me!

  4. The Goober says:

    Yep – same issue but gotten worse. My Uncle died sooner then expected and my mother called 4 hours before he passed letting me know they were on their way. I let it go to voice mail and listened to it later. I tried to get work set aside so I could go but couldn’t go anywhere until Thursday of that week. I found out Tuesday night he had passed away THAT SATURDAY and the funeral was for Wednesday morning. Told my other Uncle no one called me – which no one did to tell me what happened. Of course that got back to my folks and they were “embarrassed” and I received another letter letting me know all about it.

    Geesh – can’t win for losing with parents.

    Only fun I saw you having were the few second breaks you had to poke fun at me before you had to go back to your “May I help you?” mode!

    • Leese says:

      You know what Goob.. I think both your parents and my mom haven’t realized yet that we have our own lives. And you’re like.. what? .. 10 states away? Neither of us can just “drop” everything asap to do what they want us to do because we have families to support and work to tend to.. but they just don’t get it because THEY’RE at an age where they have nothing better to do then to make our lives miserable because we can’t do what they want us to do. It sucks.

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