Archive for August 22, 2009

… so I come home from the shop around 2 hours ago with the intent of gathering and sorting the clothes for laundry.

I normally go on Sunday’s but since Chief and I have a party to go to tomorrow afternoon, I figured I’d get it out of the way tonight so that the only thing I have to worry about tomorrow is getting the birthday gifts.

The party is at 2 so I should have plenty of time.. if not, the mall in on my way to the event so I can always just run in there.

I know.. I know.. “Last Minute” should be my last name but what can I tell you.. I do my best work under a deadline! LOL

Anyway… so I walk into the house through the back door. I normally use the front but since I really didn’t want to hear the dogs going absolutely insane because I was gone so long, I snuck in the back!

Well.. surprise, surprise, surprise!

The back door opens into the kitchen and the 10 or 12 plates that were piled high in it.. along with glasses and knives and forks.. the counter was a mess with crumbs and mustard and whatever else and there was a cookie sheet propped between the window and the spigot.

Bubba was in the dining room on the computer with his friend.. and Spaz was laying like the little prince that he thinks he is on the sofa.

Because it’s still humid as shit out, the first thing I smelled when I walked through the dining room on my way to the living room was dog piss.

OOOMPH!

I noticed that there was a puddle of piss between both rooms and that the dogs had did more then their business on the front porch.

And they both just sat there. Sat THERE and sat in the STENCH. Ceiling fans were off.. box fans were off.

I mean really… how fucking STUPID can you be?

Well.. one of them insists on wearing flannel pj’s so we’re not talking about Einsteins here.

When asked about the sink.. both immediately started pointing to each other and Spaz’s excuse for not washing the cookie sheet was because he didn’t know HOW.

So.. um.. .what about all the other dishes? And the utensils? What about THAT, Bucky?? Huh? HUH?

I told him to get away from me.. and started cleaning the sink.. then sorting the laundry.

He insisted on helping until my head grew to the size of a hot air balloon and my face turned green…

I told him to go in the other room and he started whining that he “… just wanted to help.”

WHAT ABOUT HELPING ME BEFORE I GET HOME???? HOW MANY TIMES TO WE HAVE TO GO OVER THIS???

He tried pulling his little violin act but I really didn’t care.

Once the laundry was sorted, I cleaned the bathroom .. cleaned and mopped the front porch.. cleaned and mopped the living room and dining room.

All with Pine Sol.

ORIGINAL scented Pine Sol.

MORE THEN THE RECOMMENDED AMOUNT of original scented Pine Sol.

Personally, I love the smell of it :: although I may have used a little too much this time because I think I feel woozy :: but the kids HATE it.

Smells like an old person’s home, they complain.

You know what?

OH.

FUCKING.

WELL.

Smells better then dog piss on a humid day, don’t you think?

Anyway.. so now I’m sitting under the air conditioner in my bedroom trying to cool off because I was literally a puddle of sweat. I even had to take my glasses off half way through because they kept on sliding off my nose.