I get along great with Chief’s dad. He’s a great guy, even though when I say that Chief rolls his eyes at me.
They have a history… like most fathers and sons do .. only theirs was riddled with Chief’s dad being drunk enough and the beatings he doled on his sons severe enough that Chief left home at 16 and forged his own path in life.
They’ve had a kind of on and off relationship ever since. Mostly OFF but there were times :: very few :: when it was ON and Chief, even when I met him.. and maybe as recent as less then a year ago, harbored tremendous anger and animosity to the extend that he once said that he couldn’t wait until his father got to an age where he had the strength of an 8 year old but the mental capacity to remember the time he beat Chief with a 2″ bike chain JUST LIKE CHIEF WAS DOING TO HIM NOW.
I know. Harsh. Beyond Harsh.
There’s a saying in Italian that goes:
ACQUA CHETA ROVINA I PONTI
Still waters run deep
Meaning.. you never know what’s brewing under one’s surface.
Anyway…
I had a great relationship with my dad :: who passed 13 years ago :: so I can’t say that I necessarily understood why Chief was being such a hardass. My thought process was that his father was an alcoholic and most of those beating issued to those 4 boys were in drunken rages. People do change.
But he wasn’t hearing any of it so I let it go. Some things people have to work out on their own.
Fast forward to… November? I was talking to Chief one afternoon at work and he non-chalently says that his father stopped in the store.
I was like… wha??????
He was like, “… yea.”
I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing, just popped in to see the place. And if I’m not mistaken, they wound up getting into some kind of “discussion” about something having to do with money.
The root, of course, of all evil.
Anway.. about a week later, I was at the store for some reason in the afternoon. I either took the day off or I called out sick because I remember not being able to stay away and sitting in the back of the store on a milk crate with an open counter drawer stuffed with my fleece jacket and me resting my head on it.
I heard the store door open and then Chief popped his head where I was and asked me to come out front.. that he wanted me to meet someone.
I really didn’t.. I wasn’t feeling good and the last thing I wanted to do was meet someone looking all sick and pale with a raggedy pony tail.
But I went out and there was Chief’s Dad and his Uncle.
NOTE: His uncle isn’t really his uncle but his father’s BFF.
He introduced me and I was my usual giddy, friendly, quirky non-sick self.
Anyway.. His visits became less sporatic and at Christmas time bought a gift for him from us. It was one of those men’s gifts that are already pre-wrapped. It was a last minute thing.. I saw it, thought it was the right thing to do so I bought one for him and one for Uncle BFF.
That thought, I think, went a long way.
Because then the travesty happened.
Chief got arrested and now, I had to find people and talk to people that I knew existed but had never been introduced to .. asking for help in a major way.
And for all the not-so-warm-and-fuzzy things that Chief had said about them .. they came through. In a big warm and fuzzy way.
I firmly believe that there’s a silver lining in every cloud and good always comes out of bad. The “good” in this case was Chief and his dad rebuilding their relationship.
I’m WAY too modest to say that I had something to do with it but I think I did. I think my openess, raunchy sense of humor, touch-huggy-feelyness opened a door that was long shut.
There are many times when Chief was say, “… he just comes here [the shop] to see you” or “.. he really likes you” or “… he keeps telling me that I better keep you” and that makes me feel good. Really good.
The other day his dad came into the store and I told him to keep June 21st open. That I was giving him plenty of time to not make other plans. He asked why and I told him that we were going to take him out for Father’s Day.
He asked me where and I told him it was his choice.
Chief.. being Chief.. was all like “… do I have to go?”
He was joking.. well, for the most part.. so I whipped it around and said, “Forget the dumbass, just you and me will go.” and then I said, “.. it’s been a long time since I celebrated a Father’s Day and I miss it.”
I think that touched something deep and I guess afterwards when I wasn’t around he said something to Chief because that night when we were getting ready for bed, Chief said to me “.. my dad really, really likes you.”
Currently, his dad lives with Chief’s twin brother Sarge.
Sarge walks a straight.. tight.. conservative Christian line :: I mean, come on, you don’t have lesbian fantasies??? What man DOESN’T fantasize about lesbian porn????? :: and his wife is the same way. I don’t necessarily think that Chief’s dad can have the same type of conversations with her that he has with me and that’s great. She’s a really good person, don’t get me wrong.. but I just let him be him, yknow?.. and I think he really appreciates that..
And that’s cool.
Really cool.