Archive for May 12, 2009

New Theme

Posted: May 12, 2009 in Just Stuff
Tags: , ,

… so I’m trying out this new theme :: Quentin :: on WordPress.

I get kind of ornery with themes after a while.. consider that the artist in me.

Let me know what you think…

In the meantime, I’m going to be researching CSS For Dummies!

So I made a few calls and there is a meeting sponsered by S.A.F.E ( Self Abuse Finally Ends ) not to far from here at 5pm so I’m going to head over.

I knew that I would be late getting home so I had to tell Chief.

Well, let me rephrase. I didn’t meant it to sound that way. I want to tell him.. I want to tell him everything it’s just that sometimes the way it comes out of my mouth isn’t the way it’s worded in my head.

So I call him and we make small talk for alittle bit and then I tell him that I’m going to be home late.

He asks why and I told him that I had a meeting after work. I actually don’t remember the way I phrased it but he said that he loves me and he worries about me and this is just going to make him worry more.

I tell him that it’s not physical.. it’s mental.. and that I need a tune up. And I went on to explain tht like his drinking, I have something that I need to control. He said he figured what it was about and that just remember how much he loves me.. if it helps any.

I hope it does.

Today is International Disadvantaged People’s Day.

Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend…

I don’t care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, fall down uncontrollably, vote liberal or occasionally pee yourself..

You hang in there sunshine, you’re freaking special….

Convos

Posted: May 12, 2009 in Convos
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CHIEF: (calling on my cell phone) HI!

ME: Hi! Is everything ok?

CHIEF: Yea…

ME: Are. you. sure?

CHIEF: Yep! I’d thought I’d call my beautiful baby on this beautiful afternoon and tell her I love her

ME: awwwww

Heheh…

DISCLAIMER: There is NO WAY IN HELL that I’m going to be able to convey this with ANY WHERE NEAR the hilarity in which is was originally presented to me!

FULL DISCLOSURE: You have to remember that this happened a few years ago and I can’t for the life of me remember if Goob told me this over the phone or in an email. I want to say email for a variety of reasons so it’s probably long gone by now..

Yep.. went back to November 2006 and couldn’t find it

Anyway… so… heh. You gotta know The Goob.. he’s this 6’4″ mass of Paul Bunyon-ess with tree trunks for arms and the how facial goatee thing going on. In fact, he even said him self that him typing on a keyboard is like gorilla pounding at it.

So.. good looking guy that he is.. he gets interested in one the bar flies patrons at the place where he bounced on the weekends.

AND.. being the guy that he is.. she took complete and utter advantage of him :: my opinion :: and played him like a mandolin. IF she knew what a mandolin was! :: my opinion, again ::

Anyway.. I don’t remember if HE asked her to a movie or SHE mentioned maybe.. possibly.. that she would LIKE to go to a movie.. the memory is fuzzy but the end result is that they made a plan to go to the movies on a Sunday afternoon :: Saturday? Sunday? Saturday? Help me out here Goob ::

So I know he really likes this tramp woman so he does the who metrosexual thing, yknow what I’m saying? And heads over to her place to pick her up.

He knocks at the door and this older woman answers.. I think it was the chick’s mother or something.. and she tells him to come in.

He goes in and he sees the tramp woman sitting on a couch next to this other dude.

And he tells me, “… Leese, you know the size of my nose right? I swear.. and you’re going to think I’m crazy.. but I SWEAR I SMELLED SEX! You know what sex smells like, right? You know what I mean, RIGHT???”

I know what ever I was drinking :: because I’m always drinking something :: shot out my nose because I was laughing so hard.

I asked him what he did… and he said he made up some excuse that he ate a bad hotdog on the way over and had to go home.

So he left.

I remember asking him if.. maybe… possibly the “aroma” was coming from the Old Lady’s “Y:: there goes the ice tea again! ::

But he was like NO! NO! IT WAS SEX! I SMELLED SEX!!!

OMG.. I have to go pee.. that’s how much I’m laughing right now

NOTE: None of the above is Goober’s fault. He did nothing but try to escort a young woman to the moving picture show! Make fun of him and I will shoot a spit ball at you!