Archive for December 1, 2008

It’s never easy for a parent to practice tough love… never easy for a STEP parent to practice it either. But sometimes, tough love is tough love is the only thing that will work.

Earlier today… someone came into our house and stole our PS3.

Only the PS3. Not the computer in the dining room.. not the laptop left on the table.. not the 50″ plasma tv, although that would have been a little hard to maneuver. But still.. you get my point.

It was someone who  had obviously been in our house before because the barking of two attention obsessed dogs did nothing to disway them and they new exactly where it was and how it was hooked up.

All along, since Weed has been living the life that he has, Chief has been telling him how his road is going to be traveled.

You’re going to wind up in jail, Weed

He did.

You’re going to find yourself in rehab, Weed

He did.

Things are going to start disappearing, Weed. And when they do I’m kicking you out

They did.. and he was.

Bubba called me earlier and asked me why I took the PS3 away from them again. I told him that I didn’t. He said it wasn’t there. The whole unit, the controller and the flexible keyboard was gone.

I called Chief, who initially thought that I had removed the PS3 and told him it was stolen.

NOTE: Do I REALLY have to point out that I was an hour away at work all day?

At any rate, the first thing out of Chief’s mouth was “WEED”.

Apparently, the timeline goes like this:

Bubba was playing on it before he left for school at 7:40am. Weed was playing it before he went to the shop to work at 10am. Weed finished work :: well, I use the word “work” lossely :: at 1pm and went home to play it but it wasn’t there.

Bubba comes home from school at 3:15pm. Weed asks him where the PS3 was and Bubba doesn’t know… calls his father who said to call me. He does and you know the rest.

Chief leaves the shop and goes to the house where he verifies that the PS3 is missing and calls the police. While waiting for them to show up, he tells Weed he has to leave. He didn’t want him living in his house anymore because his life style is now affecting everyone in the family. He can go live with his crack whore mother since they have so much in common :: she was in jail for felony burlary a few years ago ::.  Weed insists he didn’t have anything to do with it.

In his addict’s mind, he didn’t take it.. didn’t see anyone take it.. and so he has no responsibility.

Chief :: and I :: see it another way. But more on that later.

So Weed leaves.. the cops arrive.. they tell Cheif that they will check the local pawn shops :: not likely, if though we do live in a small town :: and Chief goes to our local Game Stop to check to see if anyone turned in a PS3. They didn’t.

Fast forward to when I came home from work. Chief is pretty busted up about the whole thing. The last thing any parent wants to do is throw their kid out but it has come down to the thought that if Weed doesn’t start taking his dad seriously… know that there is consequences for his actions… and realize that the things he has been doing isn’t going to lead to anything good then he’s just going to go down faster.

It isn’t any less tough on me. I love this kid. I see his potential and I see him wasting it. I see how he disrespects his father and has no regard for his brothers and all that they went through.

The one thing that was really bothering Chief is the thought that Weed thinks that Chief is enjoying throwing his kid out on the street on a blistering cold winter night with just a hoodie and a flannel jacket.

Turns out that when I finally get home, Weed is sitting on the back porch steps in the rain. I seize the opportunity to get alot of things off my chest.

I ask him if he really thought that the PS3 being stolen was completely random. He says that none of his frieds would steal from him.

I tell him that 1) they didn’t steal from HIM they stole from US and 2) from my perspective, they aren’t really  his friends. They’re just bottom feeders who hang around for what he can get them or give them. I mention the fact that in the last few weeks, he’s been missing money whenever he has people in his room.

I’ll spare you the verbatim details but I basically told him that no one wanted it to come to this… especially his dad. And that if he thought that his dad wasn’t busted up about it he was dead wrong. I told him that he won’t get it until he has his own kids :: god forbid :: but the worse thing for a parent is to watch a kid waste their potential. I told him that his dad would move mountains for his kids and wants them all to acheive things that he didn’t and that his yelling and bitching isn’t so much out of anger but out of fear. Fear that if Weed doesn’t get straightened out he’s going to get a phone call that he’s back in jail or worse, dead.

I told him that at 19, I’m sure he thinks we have no clue about life. The fact is is that both of us have been around the block a few times and learned the lessons the hard way and were trying to spare him the lesson.

I have to say he did listen. He didn’t ignore me but after all was said and done he told me that I could go inside.

I guess there are just somethings that one has to learn for themselves. The best intentions can’t make a person do the right thing if that isn’t on their agenda.

What really sucks is how this is going to affect Bubba and Spaz. Because now, with having to replace a 500.00 PS3, the things we were going to get them for Christmas :: bikes, mp3 players, rc cars :: is on the back burner.

As I told the kids last night, I’m not worried so much about the PS3. It sucks that it was stolen. It sucks that we have to replace it and they may  not have the kind of Christmas that they wanted and we wanted to give them but the most important thing is Weed.

I’m worried about him.

And so is Cheif


Posted: December 1, 2008 in Secrets

I read the letter after you didn’t think I saw you throw it out