Putting the F-U-N in Funeral

Posted: November 14, 2008 in Chief, My Family
Tags: , , ,

Yesterday me and Chief attended the funeral of my 60 year old Uncle who after being diagnosed and operated on for stomache cancer, died of heart failure after a 25 year old girl T-Boned his car on the way home from a follow-up visit to his doctor.

There’s some question whether the girl was text messaging or not but that’s to be revealed later I guess.

At any rate.. yesterday in my part of the world the weather was miserable. Cold, windy and downpour rain all day.  That doesn’t make for a very pleaseant 1.5 hour drive to the church but yknow.. it was just me and Chief and regardless of whatever else is going on with the kids or house or shop it was good to just be together with no pressure from anything.

Chief is a simple ass who says the most randomly bizarre things that just make me turn purple and have to hold my pee in! Also, he isn’t Catholic. Well, I’m not really either any more but after attending about a million services in my youth I can still keep up with what’s going on.. yknow.. stand in the right places, kneel in the right places.. that kind of thing. At any rate, he’s Pentecostal which came with all sorts of preconceived opinions but I did go to an Assembly of God service and no, they didn’t slaughter baby animals midway through :: contrary to what my mom believes!! ::

Anyway.. so we get there late, of course :: because he started helping Weed do stuff in the shop :: but there were so many people waiting to view the coffin and see the family that the Mass, which should have started at 12 started at around 2. The funeral director guys were NOT happy campers.

I tend to get emotional at funerals. And it isn’t so much that I miss the person who died… I’m just no good at witnessing other people’s sadness and seeing someone cry usually makes me cry. Plus, church songs alway s do me in.

Chief knows this about me not wanting to see me upset he just made me laugh instead. And when I mean laugh.. I mean LAUGH. So hard that by covering my mouth and bobbing up and down my aunt asked me if I needed a tissue and my brother felt bad for me because he thought I was taking my uncles death WAY more then he thought I would since I really didn’t care for him too much.

He said things like:

LORD, GROW MY HAIR

instead of

LORD, HEAR OUR PRAYER

There was also the whole thing about the “floaty”. That being a bit of communion wafer that was stuck to the inside of the clear wine glass that people sipped from. I actually did almost pee myself then.

Once the service was completed, we all lined up for the drive to the cemetary which was another 45 minutes of gut splitting laughter because the procession kept on being split and I was following my cousin who didn’t know where he was going either. Still don’t know how it happened but we went through a few back alley’s and wound up where we needed to be.

And of course, our simple asses didn’t even THINK to take an umbrella on a day with torential down pours and since we were late getting to the cementary, we had to stand outside of the tent getting wet.. all the while my mother is UNDER the tent holding a folded umbrella watching us get soaked.

Fun Stuff

Then it was back to the church for the luncheon where Chief got to meet and spend time with my extended family. In an ironic world, he actually knew one of my second cousins who was a die hard customer at the restaurant he used to run and I also took the opportunity to point out my OTHER second cousin that had the massive boob job.

Chief being a breast man anyway wanted to clobber me because he hadn’t actually met her yet and he was worried about not being able to look above her chest. What I didn’t tell him is that my cousin is a “hugger” so he got to feel the boobs first hand.

His turn to turn purple!

We didn’t get home until about 5 hours later then we actually intended but it was a good day. It was great just spending time together and being silly.

But then… it was back to reality.

Comments
  1. Trip X says:

    Ok, so I’m starting at the beginning, hoping to learn more about your blended family.

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