Archive for May 8, 2008

And So IT Goes…

Posted: May 8, 2008 in Old Blogs
Tags:

Yknow, it’s frustrating dealing with a 9 and 13 year old who aren’t biologically yours and who I didn’t have the advantage of easing into their personalities. I just don’t get the way they think sometimes. Do ALL kids their age act like they do? Did the things they were exposed to damage them to the point where I, personally, can’t see a day where they would be living on their own… and not like barnyard animals either.

Last night was yet ANOTHER episode. Started out good and then progressively went down hill.

When I got home from work, Chief and Spaz were outside with the dogs. I have to admit that I was childishly peeved at Chief. I had tried calling more then a few times on his cell phone with no answer :: while mine is an extension of my right arm, his is usually sitting on the fish tank :: he hasn’t set up his voice mail STILL.. the cordless house phone was never recharged and he didn’t answer back my email or IM.

NOTE: I’m getting pissed again. I’ve told him SO many times the smile I get when he emails or IMs or texts me. As much as I am so NOT “girly” I will admit that I am a romantic, sentimental fool. It’s not that I don’t think he loves me.. I know he does.. it’s just something that makes me feel special that he doesn’t do.

But I digress…

So while we were outside and Spaz was watering the lawn, Chief tells me that he had a conversation with Spaz about The Cunt. He explains to him that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to see her for awhile because we both can’t stand the way she disappoints him and makes him promises that she doesn’t keep. He also tells him that if she says anything to him, to put the blame on Chief.. that Chief won’t let him see her this way the pressure if off of Spaz and he won’t have to say that HE doesn’t want to go. Spaz understood where Chief was coming from and everything was good.

Until Bubba came home.

He comes home before his 8:30 curfew while me, Chief and Spaz were busy in the kitchen making soft pretzels. :: It does rock living with a chef! :: Right away, he wants to make a milkshake. Now our kitchen is a nice size but does get alittle crowded with even 2 people in there.. so imagine me and Spaz at the counter rolling dough, Chief at the oven and two dogs getting in everyone’s way. Bubba making a milkshake was not going to happen but the worst part was the attitude he gave when Chief told him to wait a few minutes. That set the tone for the night.

At 9:20p, Chief realizes that Bubba doesn’t have any clean school pants and was going to run to WalMart to exchange the two pairs we had bought him over the weekend that were alittle too tight :: Bubba’s a big kid. At 13 he’s well on his way to passing the 6ft mark and was wearing a size 40 pant :: I told him not to stress about it, I’d run the laundry with just their school clothes. I get the hamper out of the bathrrom… no school pants. I ask Bubba :: who was stretched out on the sofa :: where they were and he said he didn’t know. I asked him where he took them off at and he said he didn’t know. I asked him how could he NOT know where he took his pants off at and Chief came out of the kitchen and told me that he had made them take their laundry down from their rooms earlier. I go through that basket.. no school pants. I go through the hamper in our bedroom.. no school pants. Front porch? No school pants. BACK porch? No school pants.

I ask him to go check in his room. He tells me there isn’t anything up there. I tell him that they have to be because they’re no place else. Mind you, I’m not sounding all butterscotch and whipped cream here. He huffs and he puffs and he goes upstairs and comes down with two pairs of school pants.

Wonderful.

But where are the shirts? Again he says he doesn’t know.. that they weren’t upstairs. This time I go up to his room… find them balled up in the hallway and in a pile in his room.

By this time.. I’m frustrated… Chief’s frustrated.. and all Bubba does is care about nothing. I don’t exactly know what the camel’s straw was but all of a sudden I hear Chief yelling at him. I hear the phrases “little prince”, “entitled”, and “lazy fat ass”

NOTE: Considering the current state of my hips and remembering the taunts I received at his age I’m not really that thrilled when he gets mad enough to throw in the weight stuff.

Chief has had enough of him not meeting either of us half way on things that pertain to stuff like his laundry.. his homework.. things that are his responsibility that become our responsibility because he’s too lazy or just don’t care enough to do his part. OR it could be that he’s being the manipulative fuck that he usually is and knows that eventually Chief or I will take care of it anyway so why should he bother.

It was the same thing awhile ago when he had wanted the money that I was holding for him back. It was something like $115.00 that he was saving for a new computer but decided he didn’t want it anymore. So we’re down at the farmer’s market and again, he was being a dick and Chief had to lay him out in the middle of the market for acting like an ass because he wasn’t allowed to buy anything that was sharp (ie: pocket knives) or shoot (ie: bb guns). Chief had told him that he should buy a new bike chain since he had broken the one on his bike. Bubba’s response? He wasn’t going to spend “his” money on that. Read that as he wasn’t going to spend his money on anything he knew his father or I would eventually buy for him.

I joke around and say that the kids got the swampy end of the gene pool. The are the polar opposites of their father.. who lived on his own since he was 15.. worked two jobs to support himself while still in high school and put himself through college and culinary school. Chief isn’t the type of person that waits around for someone to give him something… he either does it or gets it himself.

Bubba and Spaz… not so much. They act just like The Cunt does.

In a way, I feel bad for Bubba because for the last few months he’s been getting yelled at and punished more then he isn’t. And I know that 13 is a rough age to begin with but what bother’s me more is that yell, scream, holler, punish.. whatever he just doesn’t care.

Now I’m starting not to care.

I don’t care if he has homework or not :: I’m not going to keep asking him :: I don’t care if he does his homework :: I’m not going to remind him :: I don’t care if he winds up having to go to summer school or get left back :: probably best if he does :: I’m going to adapt the same attitude that he has. But yknow what? I have a feeling it’s not going to make one bit of difference.

This is going to be a tough one and it isn’t going to go away anytime soon.