OOPS! She Did It Again..

Posted: May 6, 2008 in Old Blogs

… but are we REALLY surprised?? Nah.

Not in the least.. in fact, I would be WAY more surprised if she DIDN’T pull the same crap all the time.

So here’s the deal… get a cup of coffee :: or a pot :: put on your favorite pair of slippers or pj’s and settle in.. this is going to take some time.

First of all… you know who I’m talking about, right? The Cunt? The Crack Whore? The boy’s mother? Yea. And I’m being kind.

So anyway :: I really do need to keep this updated daily because these dramas tend to be long :: everything started on Friday morning. The low down is that The Cunt’s brother / half-brother / step-brother :: whatever weird family dynamic he is :: got married for like the 4th or 5th time or whatever and there was going to be some type of family shindig. Bubba was already staying over the uncle’s house because there’s a cousin there his age or whatever and The Cunt was taking Spaz for the weekend so me and Chief were going to be kid-less for the weekend. A PAY weekend at that!

Talking to Chief during the day, he tells me that before the kids left for school in the morning The Cunt called Bubba’s sidekick.. I don’t remember the whole conversation or what started it or what  ended it but I do remember something about her asking him why he won’t talk to her on the phone :: his response was that she’s never coherent:: and then he laid into her again about not paying child support :: her response was that she’s “trying” :: and about the fact that she was leaving Spaz with her boyfriend instead of taking him to the party. Needless to say THAT really set Chief off.


Before I continue, let me clarify a few things… and excuse me while I get REAL up close and personal

  1. Their marriage :: albeit because of a surprise pregnancy :: ended when Spaz was an infant because she didn’t “.. want to be a mother” anymore and because of the fact that she was literally having one-night stands, stripping, prostituting herself out to his friends and working a web cam for profit :: eh-hem :: while he was working 20 hour days and 24 hour weekends building a business. So basically she was sucking and fucking everything in the county.
  2. She has way too many DUIs to count and also a nasty little addiction to they types of chemical that come in pretty different colors and shapes.
  3. Did I mention that she had been in jail on felony burglary charges and was only released last June? Oh, I didn’t? Yea.. well… then there it goes.
  4. Up until February, she was NEVER ordered to pay child support :: regardless of how many times they stood before a judge ::and even now, with 43.00 a week payment order :: for three kids!!:: she’s not paying that.

So basically, we’re not dealing with a real pillar of society here… and like Satan :: my ex :: she has lived her life with a sense of entitlement and the knowledge that she can get away with just about anything :: except felony burglary, ‘natch ::

The thing is :: and this is where I tend to go sideways because I don’t know what I would personally do if they were my kids :: is that Chief doesn’t want them not to have some kind of relationship with her. She’s immature, not responsible and a whole laundry list of other things but his feeling is that when she just tells Spaz that she’s picking him up without consulting with Chief first then Chief looks like the bad guy in saying no. Eventually, he rationalizes, as they get older they will see what she is and then make up their own minds.

Weed is already there. Bubba? He’s getting there. But Spaz… a whole other story. He, I believe, is the one with the most residual issues :: from anger to abandonment :: and there is no question that she has completely fucked up this 9 year old.. maybe for his lifetime.

But you be the judge.. because this is what happened:

So I had had this conversation with Chief regarding the babble session he had had with her in the morning and he tells me that The Cunt is picking up Spaz at 6pm. He tells me this because that’s the time I usually get home from work and I guess he wants to not have me surprised to see her boyfriend’s beat up, primer grey and rust colored 1980 Benz with Tennessee tags parked outside our house. I tell him as long as she isn’t IN the house, we’re cool. So no problem.

I get home from work and Spaz is still home. His school bag is packed with clothes for the weekend and he’s playing a video game. Our plan had been to go to the diner and grab dinner and my first thought was that I’m glad she hadn’t picked him up yet because I really wasn’t that hungry.

So Chief gets me in the kitchen and tells me that she called and said that she “.. had to work late” and wasn’t going to be able to pick him up until 9pm.

Now.. I know that the only job she had :: and probably could get :: was cleaning houses. No offense to the people that clean houses but she has like a 7th grade education and not even McDonald’s would hire her. Hmm.. plus that nasty little felony burglary charge… I also know that house cleaners don’t work until 9pm. Especially on a Friday night.

Anyway… so Chief tells me this and the first words out of my mouth are “.. she’s not coming for him.” He says he thought that too but the look on his face tells me that he doesn’t want to believe it.

He goes on to tell me at one point in the conversation, she wanted him to drive Spaz down to the apartment that she shares with her boyfriend. The one that is 4 blocks from my mom’s and owned by one of my relatives :: small, twisted world huh? :: Chief’s response is a resounding “.. are you fucking crazy?” for a number of reasons. One, he wasn’t going to drop his kid off at her apartment when she wasn’t there… Two, our house is one the way home from her “supposed” job and Three, gas is 3.65 a gallon here. :: Not that it was about the gas, but it was just another point to throw at her :: . We both knew :: me consciously, him subconsciously :: that her only intent was getting trashed and she didn’t want the responsibility of Spaz and that by having him already at her place she could make up whatever story she wanted and Spaz would believe her.

Still.. yknow.. she still had three hours so maybe there would be a miracle.


So now all three of us were going out to the diner. As we were getting ready, Chief tells me that he packed a pair of dress pants for Spaz but he couldn’t find the one button down shirt the kid has. I tell him in no uncertain terms that Josh was NOT wearing that shirt because he outgrew it and that we would stop and pick him up a new one.

Spaz :: God love him :: chimes in that we don’t have to buy him one.. that his mom said that SHE was going to take him out to get one. Neither of us had to even look at each other to know what we were thinking. Chief said we’d get him one anyway and I said that no, she could buy it for him and that I didn’t want to take away her joy of buying him a shirt.

9 is a little too young for my brand of sarcasm.

So we go to the diner :: an experience in itself that I would have been more then glad to post if all this other shit didn’t happen :: then we head home and hang around playing Call of Duty online.

At 8:59pm, Spaz gets up and goes to the front porch saying to himself :: aloud :: that she has 1 minute to get there. He goes out onto the step and starts waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Chief tells him to come in after about 20 minutes by telling him it’s getting cold outside and that she would beep the horn or call his cell phone when she got there.

Personally, I knew exactly what was going to unfold and I really didn’t want to bear witness to it. I kissed Spaz goodnight.. told him that I probably wasn’t going to be up when he left and hoped he had a great weekend. He told me he loved me.. I told him I loved him and I went to sleep.

I wake up at around 1:30a. Chief is sitting on the lounge chair with Ernie the Terrorist puppy on his lap.. staring at the fish tank. Spaz is asleep on the couch.

I motioned towards Spaz asking what happened but already knowing the answer. Chief told me that she obviously never came to get him.. never called.. and the poor kid cried himself to sleep on the couch.

We go to sleep and the next morning I wake up and see Spaz in the kitchen. I act surprised and he tells me that his mom didn’t come for him and that he was angry. I just gave him a big hug and told him we’d do something fun or whatever.

He shrugs his shoulders. About an hour or so later, he calls his mother’s cell phone for like the hundredth time :: that I know of at least :::. Apparently someone answered because I heard him say, “Mom? Mom?” .. turns out it was her boyfriend. Spaz asked him why she didn’t come for him and he told him that she “disappeared” all day Friday :: so much for that, uh, “job” :: and that she’s crashed on the couch. Nice.

By this time, Chief had gone into the shower because we decided to take Josh out for the day. Josh turns around and asks me why his mother wouldn’t pick him up. I tell him the truth. I didn’t know why. He says he hates her. I tell him he’s allowed to feel anyway he needs to feel. He says to me, “… you don’t like when anyone hurts me, do you?” I tell him no.. I don’t like it. Don’t like it at all and it makes me angry. He asks if I hate his mother. I can’t tell him the truth so I tell him that I hate how she disappoints him all the time and doesn’t follow through on her word. He asks me if I had a kid around his age, would I not pick him up when I said I would.

This time I tell him the truth. I tell him that if I was in his mother’s situation :: meaning not having custody of my kids :: then I would see him every chance I got.

And yes. For the record. I do hate her. More so after having that conversation with him.

I try to occupy his time.. and I guess another hour or so goes by when she texts his phone. I don’t know what she messaged but I know his only response was “.. why didn’t you come for me?”.

She never texted back.

He mentioned something about that when his father came back in the room and I told said, “.. look. Your mother has issues. Serious issues. The only thing you need to keep remembering is that I love you and your dad loves you.”

I think Chief got alittle misty eyed. The thing with Spaz though, is that he craves his mother’s attention so much that when stuff like this happens it beats him into the ground. But come next week or whenever, she’ll pop up and take him to McDonald’s and in his eyes she just hung the moon and he believes whatever nonsense she gives him… because he needs to believe it. And she knows it.

Later on in the night she texted him again saying that “.. I don’t blame you if you hate me.”

Great. Now throw some guilt onto your fucked up 9 year old.

This is why she is referred to as The Cunt.

She never did call… she never did take him to his uncle’s shindig.. although SHE went.  So she got her way. Again. At Spaz’s expense. Again.

We wound up having a great weekend anyway. Spaz had fun and we did things as a family so it kinda.. sorta.. maybe worked out but the other night when I was outside with the dogs a few things popped into this overworked brain of mine..

Her boyfriend has a daughter Spaz’s age that he gets every weekend. It’s no surprise to me that she now has an interest in taking Spaz because that means he’ll be there to occupy the girl and that means both of them will be out of her way. But wouldn’t you think her boyfriend would say.. yknow.. why the hell did you ditch your kid? Wouldn’t you think that a father wouldn’t want her behavior around his daughter? Maybe he has. Maybe he’s just like her. I dunno.

Chief  had said that he hopes God forgives him but he wishes she would just overdose and be done with. I can see why. I don’t know how all this is going to unfold… or what more damage she’s going to wind up doing to that boy.


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