Hindsight and Apologies

Posted: March 21, 2008 in Old Blogs

I’m not even going to put a spin on this… it is what it is and if there’s one thing that you can count on is me owning up to when I did something wrong.

And I was.

Unfortunately, a lot of years ago when I got caught up in something that I had no business even being near, you couldn’t tell me ANYTHING. You know what it’s like when you’re young… you know everything, have all the answers and fuck with or up anyone that tries to come between you and what you want.. regardless of who sufferes from fall out.

Yep. That was me. Quick to throw down… quick to let loose.. quick to fuck up someone.. anyone who didn’t fall into my line. “Rebel” wasn’t a word that applied to me… “Rebel” was a created for me…

At any rate… a lot of years, a lot of growing a lot of trials later.. and I realize just how wrong I was back then and just how many people suffered or were affected by the things that I did.

Although the past will always be the past… pain, mistrust, disloyalty and heart break kind of leave scars.

You know it’s said that everyone is seperated by six degrees of seperation? Well, this may have been 30, but this afternoon while I was helping my girl Li redo her MySpace page, we started clicking on friends of friends of friends of friends of friends :: Yea.. so we were bored at work :: and I came across a name that I knew could only belong to one person in the world…

And this person with the most unique of names happen to be in my crosshairs a long, long time ago.

I may have been directly responsible for the path her life took… or I may not have been. All I know is that when I saw her name, I felt horrible knowing the things that happened.

I send a message to her telling her that I sincerely sorry.

And I am.

I’m not the same person that I was… I am no longer the dark, rough, fuck you before you fuck me, fight the world, hard ass I used to be. Now.. my new life.. with my new family is filled with peace, laughter, light and truly unadulterated, unbiased love.

I truly hope she believes that I am sincere…

I am..

And if I could take everything back.. I would.

In a heartbe


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