I’m So Dizzy I Could Faint!!!

LOOK AT THESE SHOES!!!

Oh. My. GOD!! I am in LOVE!!!

Barney’s has them on sale for $915.oo so if anyone wanted to surprise me with them.. yknow.. I wouldn’t want to RUIN it for ya!!

The detail that I love the most? The metal tip on the strap.

God, I am in love!!!

But.. alas.. finances being what they are, I think I’m going to enlarge the picture, cut out the shoe and super glue it to my foot and then take a picture so it looks like I own them.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

PS- The shoe is called LEZZA .. now you tell me that they’re just calling out for me to own them!!!

TMI Thursday – Installment 3

Okay..

Heh…

I actually debated whether I would tell this or not. Only two people know about it and it reveals something about me that only really Chief knows.

But it’s waaaaaaayy funny so I figured what the hell.

NOTE: This is going to contain adult content so if your underage OR have take offense to anything containing adult content STOP READING RIGHT NOW

Alright… let me get a sip of coffee here.

So I’ve never been a “frigid” kind of gal … I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m a freak that has some slack in her leash.

The Spawn from Satan’s Ass was strictly a pump-pump-release missionary guy so yknow… sex was kind of boring for 18 years. Well, replace “kinda” with REALLY.

So when I met Chief.. I was in this whole FREE TO BE ME mentality. Inevitably with adults, the whole sex conversation came up. I can remember if I asked him what his fantasy was or if he volunteered the information.. although I can’t actually imagine a guy being dumb enough to OFFER this up to a women that he really didn’t know yet but that’s beside the point.

He tells me that his fantasy has always been to be with two woman at the same time. Real original there Chief!!

And I respond that since I’m more into lesbian porn the regular porn :: I thought I heard the boner pop up over the phone with that statement :: and that I have this little bi-curiousity vein running through me I wouldn’t dismiss the possibility.

I think that’s when he asked me to marry him right then. LOL.

Anyway… a month or so into dating, his birthday was coming up and I was struggling to figure out what to get him. You know the whole new relationship – big impact gift. And the thought hit me that making his fantasy come true was an AWESOME gift.

So I call my friend Biker Boy Bob who’s all into glory holes and swinging because if ANYBODY would know how to set this up, it would be him. The problem is that I used to date Biker Boy Bob and the reason why we stopped dating was because of the whole glory hole and swinging thing.

I know, I’m a study in contradictions… right?

Anyway.. Biker Boy Bob was ALL into helping me except HE wanted to be involved. Um.. NO.. that would make it an ORGY and this gal just doesn’t do ORGIES ..

He tells me that orgies are like having multiple pets. Once you go past two, it really doesn’t matter.

Um.. yyyyeeeeaaaaaaa…. ok.

So Biker Boy Bob gets a knickers in a twist and won’t help me.

FINE!! I have the internet!!!

So I go online and start popping in and out of different forums and the one thing that kept coming up is the whole mental part of it. What seems like a good idea can turn emotionally disastrous for the woman who wasn’t the second woman.. in other words, the wife.. girlfriend.. ect.

And even though I’m really not a jealous person.. I do have self esteem issues and body issues and issues that every other normal woman has. Well.. normal like me at least.

But none of that mattered because.. honestly? It was too new of a relationship to have any type of those deep seated emotional ties. You know what I’m saying, right? I mean … yeah, I really really dug him but that whole OMG I CANT WAIT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU AND YOUR MORONIC KIDS AND CRACK WHORE EX WIFE feeling hadn’t started to tingle yet.

So, to me, it really didn’t matter. I wanted to have the experience and if it turned out that he was more into the OTHER woman after then so what. I knew that if that DID happen, I would be crushed and hurt and all that other stuff but I also knew I’d get over it and move on.

Alright.. so the more I looked online the more safety became an issue. Because, lets face it, there are A LOT of skanks on the internet. And the one thing I didn’t want to take away from the experience was an STD.

Going along with the whole “… you get what you pay for” philosophy, I figured that my health was worth paying for. So I dug into the local yellow pages :: I’m thisclose to a large, urban city so finding a (( cough cough )) service wasn’t going to be difficult :: and found exactly what I was looking for.

Big Ads = Expensive Ads = as reputable a bordello as you can legally get away with!!

So I call the number and this woman answers. I tell her that it’s my boyfriend’s birthday and I would like to gift him with a night “out on the town” but wanted to have some “company” just in case.. yknow.. we ran out of things to talk about.

The woman definitely caught the WINK  WINK … but really, ANYBODY would have caught on. Cause, yknow, the more you try to hide something the more apparent it is!!!!

WOMAN: Well, I have three girls available that night but I don’t think Diamond and Crystal :: I swear! :: are what you’re looking for. I think (P)Earl would fit your needs.

ME: Ok.. it has to be a female.

WOMAN: Yes, I know.

ME: UM.. Ok.. no. I mean it has to be a “female” female.

WOMAN: Yes, I understand that.

ME: Ok.. (giggle) Look, I never did this before so I’m not sure I’m saying the right thing.

WOMAN: (laughs) No, I understand exactly what you need.

ME: Ahhh. So… why exactly can’t I hire Diamond or Crystal?

WOMAN: Their availablity is limited time wise.

ME: Uh-huh. Ok. But.. um.. see.. I just know……

WOMAN: You won’t be disappointed with (P)Earl

ME: Well.. I’m sure Earl is very nice and all but I’m sure my boyfriend will NOT appreciate a girl who really isn’t a girl.

WOMAN: (soooo confused) What?

ME: My boyfriend isn’t going to go for a transvestite.

WOMAN: WHAT?

ME: I said…

WOMAN: No.. no.. I HEARD what you said. (P)Earl isn’t a transvestite. What are you talking about???

ME: OMG.. I’m sorry! I thought that’s what you called them.

WOMAN: Call WHO?

ME: People like Earl.

WOMAN: What???????

ME: You know…

WOMAN: Obviously, I don’t know.

ME: Guys dressing like girls… Chicks with dicks???

WOMAN: (obviously annoyed) What??? Is this a joke?

ME: No! No! It’s not a joke.. Listen, all I’m trying to do is get a girl for my boyfriend’s birthday. Not someone like Earl.

WOMAN: (P)Earl is a girl…

ME: (defensive and really getting pissed off) THEN WHY IS HIS NAME EARL??

WOMAN: (Waaaaay more pissed off then I am now) PEARL!!! PEARL!!! HER NAME IS PEARL!!! NOT EARL!! I think you need to call another service.

ME: oh.

And then she hung up on me.

I swear to God that whole time I thought she was saying Earl and I remember thinking that she had misunderstood what I was looking for. I guess I hear with a lisp, I don’t know… but after the phone call I got HYSTERICAL … because yknow… if this was going to happen, OF COURSE it would happen to me!!!!

I immediately called Chief and told him the conversation. It was just too damn funny to keep to myself. He laughed just as hard but then turned all serious on me.

CHIEF: I appreciate you wanting to do that and all…

ME: Why do I hear a “but” coming

CHIEF: Well, it’s just that I don’t think our relationship would stand it

ME: Huh?

CHIEF: I’m just saying that maybe it isn’t such a good idea

ME: I’m not catching what your saying

CHIEF: Look.. It’s just that.. yknow.. I love the fact that you would want to do this for me but let’s just leave the fantasy the fantasy, ok?

And then I got it. His feelings were deeper for me then mine were for him at that point in our relationship. The emotional feelings I had read about on the internet applied to him more then they would have applied to me then. And I also thought that having a fantasy and going through with the fantasy are two very different things and maybe he wasn’t as confident as he had first made himself out to be.

Dunno..

Just something else to put in my “… me and Dick Tracy” box!!! LOL

 

 

…I’m Just Sayin’

… so.

Everybody who “knows me” knows me knows that I am a shoe whore. No.. not an AWARD whore :: that would be Gary :: but a shoe whore.

I’ll oooh and aaaahhhh and drool and hyperventilate over shoes the same way some woman oooh and aaaaahhh and drool and hyperventilate over << insert celebrity of your choice here >> and it wasn’t nothing to drop a paycheck on a single pair of shoes.

This, of course, was before the responsibilities of step-children.

At last count :: maybe about 3 years ago :: I had over 300 pairs of shoes.

That number includes everything worn on my feet :: including the 25 or so pairs of Chuck Taylors (Converse All-Stars for you noobs) :: but my shoe of choice is the high strappy stiletto.

AKA: The Fuck Me Shoe

Meaning… they are best veiwed when the heels are pointed at the ceiling!

Ok. but anyway …

The other night when I was poking around the Cake Wrecks site, I came across a picture of a perfectly normal .. if not simply gorgeous.. cake that had me ooooh-ing and aaaaahhh-ing and crawling into that secret place behind the closet and secured by the Maxwell Smart doors to stare lovingly at my most prized possession.

So since like.. my birthday is like.. 7 months away.. I figured that would be more then enough time to surprise me with the cake below.. I mean.. if ya want to and all..

Be Still My Quaking Heart!

 

You know that you don’t have to feel like OBLIGATED or anything.. but the gesture would be really, really, REALLY nice!!!!

I’m just sayin’!!!

LOL

Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy’s Culinary Habits

… Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy

You remember Ernie, right?

Ernie, The Terrorist Puppy???

Come on.. you know you do!

How could you not?

JUST LOOOOOOK AT THAT FACE!!!

Bleck!

Okay.. so last night I couldn’t sleep. Not at all. So about 1am, Bravo was showing Tabatha’s Salon Take Over and I’m all about the platinum haired, English bitch of all bitches going into hair salons and giving them a piece of her English bitch of all bitches mind.

Problem is.. if it isn’t on the History Channel or Syfy or has ANYTHING to do with aliens, Nostradameous or the end of the world.. Chief hate it and makes watching it so freakin’ miserable because he’ll make fun of everything while the shows on.

It’s one of things that you either conform around or break up about.

I’m not going to be the girl who breaks up a relationship over Tabatha’s Take Over Salon so I figured I would just go into the living room to watch it.

Because.. YOU KNOW!!!!.. no matter how hard he’s snoring he’s going to wake up the minute I put something he doesn’t like on television.

So I go out into the living.. get all settled in with my blanket and coffee and ashtray and start watching.

About 10 minutes go by and Ernie the Terrorist Puppy jumps on the “L” part of the sectional sofa and drops something from his mouth that falls right between the pillows.

Then he starts picking at it.

I look a little closer and OH MY FUCKING GOD it’s a mouse.

Jesus God in Heaven there’s a dead mouse stuck between the pillows ON MY COUCH and the damn dog is picking at it!!!

Now… as disgusted as I was, there is NO WAY in God’s green earth that I’m going to pick it up and dispose of it. No amount of paper towels is NOT going to let me feel it.

So I go into the bedroom and gently wake Chief up:

ME: Hon?………. Hon?……… Hey Babe?…………… Chief?…………… Hey Sweetheart?………….. Cheeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeffffff?? ……… Honey? …… Hey, hon?????…… OMG WOULD YOU JUST WAKE THE FUCK UP??????

CHIEF: huh? wha? huh?

ME: Hey.. I’m sorry to wake you up but can you do me a favor?

CHIEF: huh?

ME: Yea. .um.. there’s a dead mouse on the couch. Could you get rid of it for me?

CHIEF: what?

ME: There. Is. A. Dead. Mouse. ON. Our. Couch. Can. YOU. Get. Rid. Of. It?

CHIEF: ok. ok. I’ll get it.

ME: omg, thank you! I’m so sorry to wake you up.

CHIEF: ’so kay

So I move away from the bed and then he starts to get up and then he rolls over and goes right back to sleep.

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

I go out into the dining room getting really, really PISSED OFF that he didn’t just jump out of bed and get rid of the mouse RIGHT THE HELL AWAY like I would have it he woke me up to pick up a dead mouse of the couch.

NOTE: And before y’all poo-poo that, let me tell you that he HAS woken me up in the middle of the night to kill a spider. So his spider is my mouse, okay?

So half my brain is really pissed and the other half of my brain is trying to figure out a way to be brave enough to do it my self and the other half of my brain is saying “… just go wake up Spaz. He’ll do it.”

Wait…

Half.. Half.. Half… Oh! Sorry. Not “half” of my brain… I meant the VOICES in my brain!! LOL

I was just about to get Spaz when Chief stirred and Mummy-walked out into the living room.. all wearing nothing but jersey knit shorts.

So he asks me where it’s at and I point to it and he tells me to get some toilet paper. Which was so unbelievable handy that when I handed it to him, he looked at me like I had some kind of HERO type powers of light and speed.

He turns on the living room light and goes over to the couch and says:

CHIEF: That’s not a mouse

ME: Of course it is

CHIEF: No. It isn’t.

ME: Then what the hell is it?

CHIEF: It’s dog shit.

ME: THERE’S DOG SHIT ON MY FUCKING COUCH?????????

CHIEF: Yep. Dog shit.

There are things worse then a dead mouse on my couch.. and dog shit would be one of them.

I start ranting and raving about where he could have POSSIBLY gotten dog shit because I had cleaned and scrubbed the basement and front porch earlier.. they can’t get upstairs anymore and there was nothing laying around anywhere else.

CHIEF: You may not want to hear this….

ME: It gets worse?

CHIEF: Um. yeah. Well.. the GOOD news is that you won’t have to worry about staining or smelling..

ME: …. and this would be beeeccccaaaauuuussseeeee?????

CHIEF: It’s.. um… stale?

ME: STALE?

CHIEF: Yea.. as in old.

ME: As in….?????

CHIEF: As in Ernie is a hoarder. He hoards poop. Obviously he has a stash of it somewhere in case he wants a midnight snack or something because this right here? Yea.. not fresh at all.

ME: OMG.. my dog hoards poop.

CHIEF: Call “INTERVENTION”. He needs rehab and we can’t afford it. The show will pay for it!

ME: Asshole

You Gotta Check This Out..

I saw a piece on Cake Wrecks in People.. or US.. or one of those weekly magazines that I buy that either make my life seem mundane or just so much better then it really is.

The article just showed a few pictures and I LOL-ed hysterically because we’ve all been there.. done that… ordered cakes where the words were mis-spelled or written in illegible handwriting.. or just.. just.. well, YKNOW.. just left your chin hanging to your knees and the WHAT THE HELL IS THIS spewing from your mouth!

I have a particular interest in it though because I used to work at a bakery in my late teens and although writing on a cake is “different” then writing with a pencil or pen.. it isn’t incredible hard.

NOTE: I know.. I know.. having perfect Palmer penmanship like I do helps but really … it isn’t all that difficult!

And I have been known to buy a cake at a supermarket and tell the pimply face kid behind the cake writing counter “No.. No.. Let me do it. Seriously.. LET. ME. DO. IT!!!”

The other thing is that the uber-chef that is my moron man used to run a well-known bakery/eatery for a dozen or so years and has created some amazing cakes. It’s always interesting to get his take on a design … well, sometimes he’s too fucking obnoxious about it with the whole “… they should have done this or that” which, of course, I THEN say .. ” yea, because you have cake designs all over the internet” which, of course he THEN says, “.. HEY! I’ve won this award and that award and the OTHER award.. THREE TIME!!” which, of course, I THEN say, “.. yea? Who cares.. you own a DELI NOW!!!”

Actually, that same conversation goes on and on so I’ll spare you the obscene length of it!

But getting back to Cake Wrecks … the best apart about it :: aside for the LOL-ing cake pictures :: is the commentary. You want to talk about fucking hilarious?? OMG..  too too funny and SOOO left of center!!!

So check it out.. I know you’ll love it!

Good Stuff: OH MY GOD Is It Good!!!

… so I was over at The Pretty Project and came across this little ditty of a soap that was reviewed and described as being THE perfect soap to use if you wanted a little.. um.. EXTRA something out of your bath.

Heh.. well… Y’ALL know I’m all for anything that gives me a little EXTRA something during my bath!!!

And even though I don’t normally TAKE BATHS .. the temptation was FAR too great to not give this a try.

I couldn’t find it in any place local so I had to drive the 5 miles to the mall… then when I came home, I had to don the hazmat suit and 55 gallon drum of disinfectant and saw-all powered scrubber to clean my tub.

Don’t get me wrong.. I clean my bathtub ALL the time. It’s just that I live with BOYS… boys with cooties and pubic hairs that appear out of nowhere. Sorry.. but there was no way in HELL I was going to sit my naked ass in that tub.

So I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed … and bleached and bleached and bleached.. and Kaboomed and Kaboomed and Kaboomed.. and scrubbed some more but I still couldn’t get past the thought of sitting in THAT tub.

But I wanted to use this soap SOOOO bad…

Knowing that I needed some much needed .. um.. “relief” .. well, I don’t know about much needed .. ’cause I don’t think I needed it THAT much but still..

I WANTED TO USE THE DAMN SOAP

OBVIOUSLY the “relief” angels saw my plight. The clouds parted. .the monks sang and the brilliant idea was plopped onto my head.

GRANDMOM’S!!!

My grandmother passed away a few months ago and my mom and aunt are doing some sprucing to get the house ready to be sold. I think they’re absolutely insane because the house … being formerly owned by a 96 year old ITALIAN woman was spotless.

SPOTLESS!

Um.. you get where I’m going here???

Since there was absolutely no chance of being snagged :: mom is away for the week .. WITH the aunt :: I casually call her on her cell phone and ask her if the dishes my grandmother wanted me to have but I’ve had no time to pick up were still at the house.

MOM: They’re there. Right were I left them for you to pick up. Not that you’ve had the time (( insert major sarcasm there ))

ME: OH! But hey!! Guess What??? I HAVE THE TIME!!

MOM: Oh. How come?

ME: Just… because…. well, I do. What’s the big deal?

MOM: No deal.. just asking why all of a sudden you have time to pick them up when you never could find time before. Is it because I’m away and you don’t have to see me?

ME: No MOM!!

MOM: Hmph!

NOTE: I hate when she does the HMPH noise. And no matter how many times she does it.. I still CAN NOT help but get all indignant and tell her the truth.

ME: Ok! Ok! Do you want to know the truth? I bought a soap bar that is suppose to give you the most amazing orgasm.. ok? Satisfied?

MOM: Who do you BELONG to? My God, Leese! Of all the things you could have said to your mother, you make up something about orgasms???????

ME: Well.. you were just being ridiculous and that was the most ridiculous thing I could think of.

MOM: Bye!!!!

So now. .with my mother’s quasi-permission.. :: and less guilt, I might add :: .. I flew down to my grandmom’s faster then Vin Diesel in The Fast and The Furious and set about my quest.

And OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!!!

It did EVERYTHING it was suppose to..

So well.. in fact.. that the first thing I did when I came home was tell Chief that we either have to built a second bathroom :: IN OUR RENTED HOUSE :: or get Bath Fitters or a new tub or SOMETHING.. DAMMIT! SOMETHING!

He so didn’t understand…

Convos

ME: I think I have a stress fracture in my heel…

CHIEF: A what?

ME: A STRESS fracture… yknow.. a STRESS FRACTURE?

CHIEF: Oh.. well, that will make sense. You’re not used to being on your feet all day.

ME: SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?????? MY FEET CAN’T HANDLE THE WEIGHT OF MY BIG FAT ASS??????????

CHIEF: WHAT???? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m just saying that you’re used to sitting in a cube all damn day

ME: Right… sitting in a cube ON MY BIG FAT ASS!!!!

CHIEF: Hon.. you’re ass isn’t that big

ME: ISN’T THAT BIG??????? What the FUCK, dude!!!!

CHIEF: That’s not what I said…

ME: That IS what you said!!!!!!

CHIEF: But it’s SO NOT WHAT I MEANT…

ME: Then what the hell did you mean?

CHIEF: I sooo give up.

ME: Good move, moron!!

PS3: Call Of Duty Clan Members Needed

Hey… so here’s the deal

IF you’re a PS3-er … AND you’re just as obsessed with Call of Duty as I am.. then I want you to consider clanning-up.

PSN ID: WarKittenz

And before all my non-COD friends start bitching about how much time I actually spend playing this game, let me just say that it keeps me from going REAL LIFE postal!! LOL!!

Actually shooting virtual enemies is very calming.. much more so then those 19.00 “zen” candles I tried last year!

At any rate.. fellow COD-ers know what I’m saying.

Right?

RIGHT????

NOTE: If you have absolutely NO interest in what I’m about to say then you can stop reading right now. I promise I won’t be offended. I also promise that I won’t take is SO DAMN personally that I’ll show up on your doorstep with a virtual MP40 or AK47 or SCAR and pop your virtual melon. See what I mean about stress relieving?? LOL

Ok.. so back to the clan-thing.

Well.. technically.. it doesn’t even have to be a clan thing. People tend to get territorial over their clan tags and people NOT part of a clan tend to leave matches when a clan shows up on the opposing team.

I’m just looking for people to play with that actually KNOW how to play strategically.. without running around doing stupid things to get themselves killed and ME killed in the process.

For instance… HOLDING A FUCKING AREA!!

You don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that if your team is holding an area, the opposing team is going to come to you giving YOU the advantage of killing them first. It may not always work out that way because one well place grenade will cause major cluster-fuckage but I think you kind of get the idea.

And SNIPERS!! My god there is a need for sniping .. but the whole point of sniping is to :: gasp! :: ADVANCE YOUR TEAM FOWARD! There is nothing more frustrating then to have a sniper in a map that actually doesn’t even NEED one and having to keep respawning all the way on the other side of where the fighting is because the sniper is just sitting and sitting and sitting and sitting………………….. and sitting and sitting and getting up to go to the bathroom and then sitting some more.

And while I’m on my little mini-rant .. the other thing that gets me goat all twisted up in knots is when you’re playing strategically .. you’re getting the enemy to come to you .. and then SOMEBODY ELSE comes into your space.. shoves in front of you because.. OMG! You’re getting kills and they aren’t so they want to be where you’re at so that they can get the kills but the only thing that happens is that YOU get killed because they’re blocking your view.

See.. THAT’S why I’m not hooked up to the microphone. Too many bad words said to too many people!!

Anyway.. so I’m putting the offer out there. Me and Chief are actually really, really good :: I’m better. I know it.. he knows it.. but I still let him believe that he kicks my ass because I don’t want to hurt his feelings :: and we’re just looking to play with other people who are really really good.

If your interested, just add me as a friend and just add a message that you’re from here so I’ll add you.

Left Of Center… With Some Company!!

Ok..

I read ALOT of blogs :: no offense, but I really need some semblance of a normal life :: and I have more then a few blogs listed on my blogroll.

And we’ve already established that I am an award slut .. and my blogger-bud Gary is an award whore.

AND if you happened to notice :: which, yknow.. don’t feel guilty if you didn’t because you probably have a normal life :: when I receive an award they have come from either Gary or Mark.

AND.. AND.. if you happened to notice :: which, yknow.. don’t feel guilty if you didn’t because you probably have a normal life :: I usually pass the award along to either Gary.. or Mark.. or Jen512.. or Booshy.

That’s because they’re just like me…

And BELIEVE ME.. that is SOOOO scary.

Well.. actually.. even though Jen512 is the youngest of us, she is probably the most mature!! But that’s just between you and me!

I’ve always been a little off :: in a good way :: .. my dad always told me I was left of center.. and there’s nothing I love more then to read blogs written by people that are just like me.

And so..

Because I have no life and I’m all semi-obsessed with this whole award thing :: don’t fret.. it’ll pass.. like the time I was semi-obsessed with cross stitching :: I was sitting here thinking “… DAMN! I should make my own award!”

So I did.

Left Of Center Award

I would have videoed a whole .. yknow.. “thing” but that just seemed like I was too full of myself. Actually.. that’s not true. Well.. it’s TRUE that I thought that it would be a little over the top :: but then, I did get that award too! :: but really it was just too much work!

Anyway…

In keeping with tradition, the VERY FIRST EVER LEFT OF CENTER AWARD is being presented to:

Gary at WideWorldofGary

Mark at TheNightmareScreenplay

Jen at Jen512

Booshy at Booshy

There’s nothing “extra” that you have to do.. just go on being the random, crazy, silly, funny, quirky bloggers that you are! You bring much needed laughter and I enjoy you all immensely!

NOTE: I also created THIS award:

Best Blogger Boob Award

.. but I didn’t know if Gary or Mark would appreciate having the internet  oogled their man-boobs !!

I Am A Slut!! I AM A SLUT!!

Well.. according to my buddy Gary over at WideWorldofGary.. I am.

Twist those balls tighter, Horn Dogs.. I’m talking about an AWARD SLUT!

And Gary, being the AWARD WHORE :: his own self acknowledgment :: that HE is offered this up to his blogroll.

You're The Sweetest Award

So I took it .. because.. yknow.. I am a sweetie. I AM!! I AM, DAMMIT!!

And to PROVE to you just how sweet I am, I’m passing this along to all these other sweet people:

Jen512 – because not only is she sweet, but she’s brave an dfunny and smart an512nd omg.. 6′1″!! And she lives in Turkey where.. yknow.. I might wind up on vacation one day!! LOL!!

Booshy - because not only is she sweet, but she IS THE BOOSHY! How can you argue with that? She the chick that if you hung out at a bar with her one night, beer would be coming out your nose and staining your shirt!

Mark @ Nightmare Screenplay – because not only is he sweet, but he comes up with the most bizzarrest .. random-est shit that just keeps you LOL-ing!

JeanHasBeenShopping – because not only is she sweet but she had enough cojones to try an Elvis inspired Peanut Butter / Banana / Bacon cupcake. So if ANYONE deserves an award with a picture of a cupcake on it.. It’s Jean!

Auroracoda - not only is she sweet but she was the first stranger to reach across the internet and slap me upside my head for something stupid.. and I will forever be in her debt! She doesn’t blog much anymore.. being a newlywed and moving to India.. but I know she’s still sweet!

… and to Gary.

Gary already has one but if I could give it to him again, I would!